ONE WILD RIDE IN MY MUMMY´S TUMMY

                          ... OR ...

                       THE OTHER TOE DAY


              a short play for children in one act


                   by Peter Falkenberg Brown



Copyright 2002 by Peter Falkenberg Brown
peterbrown@worldcommunity.com
http://worldcommunity.com

---

CHARACTERS

BOY                       A baby BOY, residing in his mummy´s tummy

UNCLE RUDOLPHO            Boy´s Great, Great, Great, Great Uncle,
                          the Boy´s Travel Guide

TUMMY ANGEL               A small child angel, sent to keep Boy company

GIRL                      A baby GIRL - the twin.

---

SETTING

The interior of the mummy´s tummy.

TIME

Present day.

SCENES

ACT I
Scene 1

Inside a Mummy´s tummy

---

                         Act 1
                         Scene 1

                         The set is the interior of mummy´s
                         tummy. There is a small cot, a table,
                         and 3 chairs. As the play opens, all
                         is dark.

                         We hear footsteps and a grunt,
                         followed by the sound of a toy being
                         knocked to the floor.

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Dad gum it! How come it´s so dark in here?

                         BOY
     Who´s that?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Where´s the dratted light?

               (We hear more clatter, and the sound of various
               things getting bumped into.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Ah! Here it is!

               (A light is switched on, and we see UNCLE
               RUDOLPHO standing with one knee on a chair,
               leaning over the table. BOY is sitting up on the
               small cot, looking at him.)

                         BOY
     Who are you?

               (Uncle Rudolpho straightens up, and brushes
               himself off, and bows.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     I´m your Great, Great, Great, Great (is that
     four or five? .. oh, whatever) Uncle Rudolpho,
     world traveler, travel guide extraordinaire,
     man about town, the one who KNOWS whatever
     there is to know.

                         BOY
     Oh. Gee. That´s a long name.

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     You can call me Uncle Bob then.

                         BOY
     Uncle Bob? Is that short for Rudolpho?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     No, it´s just short.

               (Uncle Rudolpho looks around at the clutter of
               toys, and grimaces.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     What a mess! Didn´t they send anybody to clean
     up? How come the light was off, anyway?

                         BOY
     I didn´t know I had a light. I didn´t know I
     had anything, until yesterday, when I found my
     other toe.

               (Boy looks down at his feet, and lifts up one
               toe.)

                         BOY
     This was getting all worn out - I was chewing
     on it so much.

               (He lifts up his other toe.)

                         BOY
     Then I saw this other one. Wow. Was I
     surprised. It´s exactly the same. But fresher.

               (Uncle Rudolpho nods knowingly.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Aha! The Other Toe Day. I remember it quite
     well myself. That must be why my dear wife
     Valerina said it was time for me to come and
     visit.

               (He sighs.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     I just wish she hadn´t interrupted my bridge
     game. Oh well... I was losing, so no matter.

               (He claps his hands briskly, and eyes the room
               critically.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     It´s time to get things going here!

               (He strides to the wall, and vigorously yanks on
               a bell pull.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Hallo up there! Tummy Angel! Are you there! We
     need you down here. The joint´s a mess!

                         TUMMY ANGEL
               (off stage)
     Coming! Coming right away!

               (The TUMMY ANGEL runs in from stage right,
               looking rather flustered. He´s carrying a large
               cookie in his hand, and is chewing, and trying
               to swallow.)

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     Are you the Travel Guide?

               (Uncle Rudolpho bows again.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     That´s me! Uncle Rudolpho, at your service.
     And you are?

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     I´m the new TUMMY ANGEL. Junior grade, I´m
     afraid. I´ll do my best, but this is my first
     case. Do you have any more cookies?

               (The Tummy Angel skips over to the cot and
               stares at Boy.)

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     Hi! Oh, you´re a BOY. I thought it was going
     to be a GIRL. Do you have any cookies? I love
     cookies. Do you wanna play? We´re supposed to
     play a lot so you can get ready.

               (Boy stands up gingerly, and stretches. He walks
               around the room and looks at the chairs, and the
               table, and picks up a toy. He puts the toy down
               and tugs at Uncle Rudolpho´s sleeve.)

                         BOY
     I feel really confused. What´s going on?
     What´s a cookie?

               (Uncle Rudolpho sits down, and pats the chair.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Come on boys. Sit down, and let Uncle Rudolpho
     tell you all about it.

               (Boy and the Tummy Angel sit and look at him
               expectantly.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     You´re a Boy. Did you know that? That´s why we
     call you BOY. At least until later.

                         BOY
     No! Really? What´s a BOY?

               (Uncle Rudolpho sighs.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Oh, BOY, oh BOY.

                         BOY
     Yes?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     No, not you! Let´s start at the beginning. Do
     you know where you are?

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     North Carolina?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Tummy Angel! Shush!

               (Uncle Rudolpho leans over, and takes Boy´s
               hand.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     There´s a big person, just like me, but she´s
     prettier (he looks at the audience) -- I have
     to say that you know -- and she´s your mummy.
     You can call her that. And you´ll never guess
     where you are!

               (Boy rubs his chin, and looks around, a bit
               worried.)

                         BOY
     North Carolina?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     No, no, no! You´re in your mummy´s tummy!

                         BOY
     What´s a tummy?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Here! Just like mine!

               (Uncle Rudolpho pats his stomach.)

                         BOY
     Really! No wonder it was so dark.

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     We´re not in North Carolina?

               (Uncle Rudolpho glares at the Tummy Angel.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
               (to the audience)
     At the moment, I think we´re on Route 95.

               (Suddenly, the three of them tip out of their
               chairs.)

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     What was that?

               (Uncle Rudolpho strides to the screen and looks
               through a small telescope that is planted into
               the wall. The large end of the telescope is off
               stage.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Well, well, I was wrong. We´re not on Route 95
     after all. I think that was Mummy and folks,
     getting out of their mini-van. They must be
     home early.

                         BOY and TUMMY ANGEL
               (together)

     Let me see!

               (Boy and Tummy Angel and Uncle Rudolpho gather
               around the spyglass, jostling for space. Uncle
               Rudolpho firmly keeps control of the telescope,
               helping Boy and the Tummy Angel look through it.
               Uncle Rudolpho then takes a long look.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Oh no. Don´t do that, my good lady.

               (Uncle Rudolpho looks at the Tummy Angel.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Do you know what she´s doing?

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     No, but I like her. She likes cookies, too. I
     saw her eat one.

               (Uncle Rudolpho, the Tummy Angel and Boy start
               to quiver and jerk spasmodically and stumble
               around the stage uncontrollably.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Why´d she have to go and do that! I hate it
     when they do that.

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     What happened?

                         BOY
     I think I´m going to be sick.

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     No! Don´t be sick! There´s no way to clean it
     up!

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     What´s happening, Mr. Travel Guide?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     I´m afraid, my good Tummy Angel, that the
     Boy´s mummy has indulged herself in a very
     large cup of Starbuck´s coffee.

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     Oh, no! If she keeps that up, Boy will become
     a break dancer when he grows up!

               (Uncle Rudolpho and the Tummy Angel and Boy
               settle down on the bed, wiping their brows.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     My, oh my. How in the world will Boy get any
     sleep if his Mummy keeps drinking coffee!

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     He´ll need a lotta sleep if he becomes a break
     dancer.

                         BOY
     I´m confused.

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Don´t worry, Boy. We´ll explain --

               (Uncle Rudolpho, the Tummy Angel and Boy
               suddenly fall off the couch in a heap.)

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     Eeeek!!

               (The three of them start to slide from left to
               right, with their arms flailing wildly. Uncle
               Rudolpho struggles to the telescope and looks
               out.)

                         BOY
     What is it, Uncle Rudolpho?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     That must have been one strong cup of coffee.
     Your mummy is doing aerobics! Uh, oh! Hold on!

               (His glasses askew, Uncle Rudolpho clutches his
               hat as the three of them stumble wildly.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     That was a pushup.

                         BOY
     Is it going to be like this from now on?

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     It´s those modern women, Boy. Your mummy´s a
     fitness fanatic.

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     In my day women were civilized. Exercise was
     strictly forbidden.

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     They were too busy with their washboards to
     get washboard abs.

                         BOY
     What´s a washboard?

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     Boy oh BOY, we gotta teach you everything,
     don´t we?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Now, Tummy Angel. Be nice if you want to get
     any more cookies!

               (Uncle Rudolpho looks through the telescope.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Ah ha! Just as I thought!

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     What is it?

               (Uncle Rudolpho motions them over to the
               telescope and they look through it.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Modern women are so predictable. After they
     exercise they always take a bath! I can´t
     imagine why. In my day we just used perfume.

                         BOY
     What´s that wet stuff?

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     That´s hot water. See the steam? Your mummy´s
     lying down in the tub. You can tell because
     her tummy´s too big to fit under the water.
     That´s why it´s getting hot in here.

               (Uncle Rudolpho wipes the sweat off his brow.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Hot is right! We should open a window.

                         BOY
     Ooooh. What are those other things floating
     around?

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     Let me see. Oh those are sea monsters. If
     you´re bad, they´ll eat you.

               (Uncle Rudolpho grabs the telescope and looks
               through it. He glares at the Tummy Angel.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Tummy Angel! What´s got into you! Those aren´t
     sea monsters! Those are rubber duckies!

                         BOY
     Will they eat me?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     No, no, no. They´re toys, to play with.
     Obviously, your mummy has had a stressful day
     at the office. By playing with rubber duckies
     she can get in touch with her inner child.

                         BOY
     She´s coming for a visit?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     No, no, no. She --

               (Just then they hear a commotion from off stage.
               Boy jumps on the bed and pulls the blanket up to
               his chin.)

                         BOY
     Is it Mummy?

               (Uncle Rudolpho and the Tummy Angel stare at
               each other.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     I don´t think it´s medically possible.

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     It´s a sea monster. I just know it.

               (As the three of them stare in consternation, a
               hand, followed by an arm enters the room.)

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     It´s an arm.

               (... and then, with a skip and a hop, the arm is
               followed by a little GIRL. She stops and looks
               at them, gravely, with her thumb in her mouth.)

                         GIRL
     Is this Kansas?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Kansas?

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     Kansas?

                         BOY
     What´s a Kansas?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Why would you think you were in Kansas, my
     dear?

                         GIRL
     Well, I was lying in my bed, examining my
     other toe that I just found today for the
     first time, and then all of a sudden
     everything moved around, and I fell off the
     bed, and then everything went up and down and
     then it started getting really hot and then I
     thought I had better open a window and then I
     found this door, and here I am.

                         BOY
     What did she say?

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     She said she´s not in Kansas anymore.

               (Uncle Rudolpho nods wisely and takes Girl´s
               hand. He leads her over to the cot where Boy is
               sitting and helps her sit down next to Boy.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Boy, you´ve got good news.

                         BOY
     I do?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Yes, sirree. I´m proud to introduce you to
     your twin sister!
               (to Girl)
     Young lady, this is your twin brother! His
     name is Boy.

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     Well, I never. Do you have any cookies?

                         GIRL
     I don´t think so.
               (to Uncle Rudolpho)
     Do I have any cookies?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Not yet, my good GIRL. But you will.

               (Uncle Rudolpho stands and takes the Tummy
               Angel´s hand.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Well, Tummy Angel. It´s time for us to leave.
     We´ve done our duty and helped guide these
     delightful young people through the excitement
     of The Other Toe Day. They´ll be fine now.

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     When we get back upstairs can I have a cookie?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     You can have two. One for each of them.

                         TUMMY ANGEL
     Goodie!!!

               (Uncle Rudolpho kisses Boy and Girl on the
               cheek.)

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
     Well, good-bye then. Take care of each other.
     You must have a lot to talk about now.

                         BOY and GIRL
     Yes sir!

                         BOY
               (to Girl)
     So you have another toe, too?

                         GIRL
     I sure do. You wanna see it? It´s really
     clean, and tastes pretty good.

               (Boy and Girl bend over, staring at their toes.
               They don´t notice as the light goes dim and
               Uncle Rudolpho and the Tummy Angel exit.)

                         TUMMY ANGEL
               (o.s.)
     Mr. Travel Guide, are you sure they´ll be ok?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
               (o.s.)
     Most certainly, my good Tummy Angel. That is,
     until they discover they have eight little
     toes too. We wouldn´t want them to
     over-nibble, you know.

                         TUMMY ANGEL
               (o.s.)
     No, that would be bad, wouldn´t it. Can I have
     a cookie now?

                         UNCLE RUDOLPHO
               (o.s.)
     Tummy Angel! Whatever shall I do with you?

               (As the light goes dark, we hear peals of
               laughter from Uncle Rudolpho and the Tummy
               Angel.)


Fade to black