The HeartThread Journal - 1st Quarter, 1998



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                                                * The HeartThread Journal *



                                                         - The Journal of

                                                                Marriage,

                                                               Parenting,

                                                         Family & Society -


                                         ----------------------------------

                                                            Vol. 3, No. 1







                                                        1st Quarter, 1998





















---------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                     Published by FutureRealm Productions 


   * The HeartThread Journal *
   - The Journal of Marriage, Parenting, Family & Society                 -
   ------------------------------------------------------------------------
     Vol. 3, No. 1                                      1st Quarter, 1998


       "To promote and encourage the 'thread' of unselfish heart and love
        that invisibly connects husbands and wives, parents and children,
                               brothers and sisters, and then the world."
                               ------------------------------------------


           From the Editor
           ...............

                My husband has entrusted the reins of this issue
           into my trembling hands, and so my prayer is that it
           pleases!

                Our thoughts this week are with Paul McCartney as he
           and his family suffer the death of his beloved wife,
           Linda. We don't have an article about them in particular,
           but Dr. Seidel's "Secrets for a Successful Marriage" and
           my husband's poem reflect the theme of couples in love. I
           saw a bit of an interview with Paul and Linda on the
           news, in which they were asked about the key to their
           success.

                They both said that they loved each other, and that
           they had barely spent a night apart in thirty years. Paul
           said after her death that she "was the kindest woman I
           ever met." That is really a testimony to the genuine love
           they shared.

                On other fronts we have a variety of topics to
           share. We have a thought provoking article about the
           movie "Contact" by Betsy Wright,(my favorite religious
           writer,) and a very moving letter by Richard Panzer to
           his son.

                Eight year old Danny Dutton gives us a refreshing
           look at God, and there's a tongue in cheek account of
           Rupert the cat.

                As it is with every issue, we hope that you find
           something inspiring or something to make you laugh. We
           are always looking for contributors, so if you have
           something you would like to submit, please send it along.
           We are so grateful for the positive feedback the journal
           has received, and we thank you for your continuing
           interest. God bless you all!

                                                    Kim Korman Brown
                                            Co-Editor & Co-Publisher

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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 1 







                               TABLE OF CONTENTS


           * From the Editor, by Kim Korman Brown .................1

           * Together, by Peter F. Brown ..........................5

           * Parent's Pledge to Children ..........................6

           * Secrets for a Successful Marriage,
             by Dietrich Seidel ...................................7

           * Third Grade Assignment:
             "Explain God", by Danny Dutton ......................12

           * Letter to My Son,
             by Richard A. Panzer ................................13

           * Love Nerves, by Tymon Brown .........................16

           * Some Questions Raised by the Movie "Contact",
             by Betsy Mathews Wright .............................16

           * Kitchen Billiards,
             by Kim Korman Brown .................................19

           * The Sad Tale of Rupert and Eggbert,
             by Peter F. Brown ...................................19

           * The Movie Mom's Guide to Movies
             and Videos for Families, by Nell Minow ..............20
             (Reviews of "The Man with the Iron Mask", "Titanic")

           * HeartQuestions / Questions & Reflections
             about Marriage, Parenting, Family & Society
             "Romance after Children; Abstinence v.
             Pre-Marital Sex; the Commitment of Marriage",
             by Peter F. Brown ...................................22

           * A Picnic,
             by Kim Korman Brown .................................25

           * The HeartThread Resource Guide:
             Resources for Couples, Parents & Families ...........28






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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 2

                                                  The HeartThread Journal
                                  is published by FutureRealm Productions

                                    Publisher and Editor - Peter F. Brown
                            Co-Publisher and Co-Editor - Kim Korman Brown
        -----------------------------------------------------------------
                 Visit our web page, "The HeartThread Resource Page", at:
                                                 "http://futurerealm.com"
                         or our other site at "http://worldcommunity.com"
                             or email us at: "peterbrown@futurerealm.com"
                                         or:   "kimbrown@futurerealm.com"

                                                      You can mail us at:
                                                  FutureRealm Productions
                           P.O. Box 4131 ~ Virginia Beach, VA 23454 / USA

                                    or you can call us at: (757) 468-6848
                                             or fax us at: (757) 468-6461

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               SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION / Email Version & Printed Version
               **********************************************************

              The HeartThread Journal is a subscription-based publication
                     sent out through email on the Internet each quarter.
         (It's quarterly TEMPORARILY - it will be monthly in the future.)
         To subscribe, send an email to "peterbrown@futurerealm.com" with
         the phrase "subscribe - HeartThread" in the body of the message.
                            To unsubscribe, send an email with the phrase
                  "unsubscribe - HeartThread" in the body of the message.

       Internet subscriptions are normally $12.00 per year for 12 issues.
                     For a limited time, Internet subscriptions are FREE.
         (Paid subscriptions will start when it reverts back to monthly.)
           Single printed copies are available for $4.00 ea. + $1.00 S&H.
     Subscriptions to the printed version are available for $48 per year.
           Please mail US Bank Check or Money Order to the above address.

        The promotional free Internet subscriptions are not contractually
                 guaranteed for 12 months -- rather the subscription will
                      continue indefinitely for free until the publishers
          end this special promotion and begin normal subscription rates.

                     Free subscribers will be notified when this happens,
                              and will be offered a regular subscription.
        -----------------------------------------------------------------

                                                WRITERS ARE ALWAYS NEEDED
                                                *************************

                        If you want to write for The HeartThread Journal,
                we will be happy to review your article, column or story.
                  Please review our "Writers Guidelines" on our web page,
                               and email us your proposal or actual work.

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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 3

                                                  ADVERTISING INFORMATION
                                                  ***********************

                    Advertising products or services of value or interest
                           to parents, couples or families is encouraged.
                          Brief textual advertisements will appear in the
                 "HeartThread Resource Guide" at the end of this journal.

                         For a limited time, advertisements will be FREE.

                            When this special advertising promotion ends,
                                     advertising rates will be published.

                                             FREE ADVERTISING FOR AUTHORS
                                             ****************************

                            All authors receive FREE advertising space in
                          the issue that their article or column appears.
        -----------------------------------------------------------------

                                                    COPYRIGHT INFORMATION
                                                    *********************

                                       All materials contained herein are
                            (C) Copyright 1998 by FutureRealm Productions

                              except for individual articles and columns,
                       which are Copyrighted by their respective authors.
                  Individual authors retain all rights to their articles,
                                              unless otherwise specified.

                                           All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
                        No part of this journal may be used or reproduced
                                         in any manner whatsoever without
                                   written permission from the publisher,

                                                or the individual authors
                              (in the case of their articles or columns),

                                      except in cases of brief quotations
                                        embodied in articles and reviews.

                 Opinions expressed by writers in The HeartThread Journal
                    are not necessarily those of FutureRealm Productions.
        -----------------------------------------------------------------

                                                    LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
                                                    *********************

                   Readers wishing to submit a letter should email it to:
                                             "peterbrown@futurerealm.com"
                         or send it by regular mail to the above address.
                             Letters may be edited for grammar or length.



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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 4 


                                   Together
                                 (for my wife)
                                ...............

                                                   by Peter F. Brown

                Someday, when we're old and leathery,
                Perhaps when we're two hundred and five,
                Or more antique than that,
                We'll move to spirit world
                And take up residence.

                There will be a white stone castle
                On a seaside cliff
                That rises from a moor.

                Facing toward the west,
                And each day's painting of the sun,
                It will beckon us to walk through rooms
                Filled with sunlight.

                We will live there, with our children
                And our children's loved ones,
                A clan that lives to love others
                And bring them to our castle
                Of warmth and heart and love.

                Art and music and growing things
                Will fill the rooms,
                Expressing how much we value
                The chance to give and serve and love.

                Our castle is waiting for us,
                To live in its walls and dance with the world.
                It will never change.
                Its walls will never crumble.

                My love for you is stronger than our castle.
                If, on the way to the spirit world,
                You found that your home was to be
                A darkened hole of regretful muck,
                But mine (through a clerical error)
                Was still the castle,
                You need not worry.

                I would live with you in ooze,
                Cleaning our swamp together,
                Until our castle welcomed us
                And watched us dance with the world.

                                   .................................
                                    Peter F. Brown is blissfully :-)
                                         married to the Co-Publisher
                                     and Co-Editor, Kim Korman Brown

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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 5 


                          Parent's Pledge to Children
                         .............................

                                       From a Mid-century Conference
                             on Children and Youth, Washington D.C.,
                               December 3-7, 1950, 6000 participants


                In every home where this pledge is made and kept,
           children will have a greater opportunity to grow into
           healthy, intelligent and useful members of society:

                From your earliest infancy we will give you our
           love, so that you may grow with trust in yourself and in
           others.

                We will recognize your worth as a person and we will
           help you to strengthen your sense of belonging.

                We will respect your right to be yourself and at the
           same time help you to understand the rights of others, so
           that you may experience cooperative living.

                We will help you to develop initiative and
           imagination, so that you may have the opportunity freely
           to create.

                We will encourage your curiosity and your pride in
           workmanship, so that you may have the satisfaction that
           comes from achievement.

                We will provide the conditions for wholesome play
           that will add to your learning, to your social
           experience, and to your happiness.

                We illustrate by precept and example the value of
           integrity and the importance of moral courage.

                We will encourage you always to seek the truth.

                We will provide you with all opportunities possible
           to develop your own faith in God.

                We will open the way for you to enjoy the arts and
           to use them for deepening your understanding of life.

                We will work to rid ourselves of prejudice and
           discrimination, so that together we may achieve a truly
           democratic society.

                We will work to lift the standard of living and to
           improve our economic practices, so that you may have the
           material basis for a full life.


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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 6 

                We will provide you with rewarding educational
           opportunities, so that you may develop your talents and
           contribute to a better world.

                We will protect you against exploitation and undue
           hazards and help you grow in health and strength.

                We will work to conserve and improve family life, as
           needed, to provide foster care according to your inherent
           rights.

                We will intensify our search for new knowledge in
           order to guide you more effectively as you develop your
           potentialities.

                As you grow from child to youth to adult,
           establishing a family life of your own and accepting
           larger social responsibilities, we will work with you to
           improve conditions for all children and youth.

                Aware that these promises to you cannot be fully met
           in a world at war, we ask you to join us in a firm
           dedication to the building of a world society based on
           freedom, justice and mutual respect.

                So you may grow in joy, in faith in God and in man,
           and in those qualities of vision and of the spirit that
           will sustain us all and give us hope for the future.



                               * * * * * * * *




                       Secrets for a Successful Marriage
                      ...................................

                                              by Dr. Dietrich Seidel

                When it comes to building a successful marriage the
           steps to take often seem hidden and enigmatic. However,
           after taking a closer look, it involves a simple approach
           and common sense. The reason that the obvious appears to
           be concealed is due to undesirable habits which penetrate
           our marital life. Routines within our daily lives and
           frequent stretches of over-commitment can create a
           certain fog for husband and wife in their marriage
           relationship. Thus, we may lose sight of basic attitudes
           and skills that are essential for a vital marriage.
           However, once we realize the need for eliminating this
           marriage fog, we find ourselves rediscovering simple
           principles for marital happiness. We then can bring the
           secrets for successful marriage into the daylight.

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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 7 

                How shall we decide what is really important for
           strengthening our marriages? Last April, I experienced a
           serious snow storm that left dozens of trees uprooted in
           my neighborhood including two giant ones in my own
           backyard. I vividly recall the rushing sound when the
           trees came tumbling down with a great thump. Their mighty
           trunks lying down with their roots exposed in the
           sunlight seemed to convey to me one last message: "We
           tried hard but we were not anchored deeply enough!"

                This whole experience illustrated for me the
           importance of strong roots and an unyielding foundation
           as it applies specifically to the communion of marriage.
           According to marriage experts Stinnet and Trotman, great
           emphasis is given to the spouses' character development,
           their attitude and internal disposition. In fact, most
           advice has to do with strengthening the roots of human
           relationships. Like the roots of a tree, our internal
           disposition also needs to be firmly grounded in the solid
           foundation of our value system and world view so that we
           can brave even the greatest storms.

                To achieve a good marriage, we need to develop two
           areas, namely, internal attitudes and external skills.
           Internal attitudes have to do with our spiritual lives
           which define the roots of our marriages, while external
           skills focus on building and nourishing our marital bond.
           As we can well imagine, only the harmonious interaction
           of these two areas will lead to the realization of
           successful marriages. The following points of advice
           address not only the roots of marital life but also basic
           interactive skills with which we will be able to nourish
           and develop our relationship as a couple.

                1. Have a strong religious conviction. Husband and
           wife discover the deepest roots of their marriage in
           their living relationship with God. True family values
           emerge from that relationship, providing consistent
           guidance and inspiration for the life-long task of
           marriage building. In fact, all internal attitudes are
           rooted in our perception of God's will and the experience
           of His parental love. Marriage without a solid spiritual
           foundation is like a house built on sand. We should
           always keep in mind that the fulfillment of all religious
           ceremonies and theological doctrine lies in the
           realization of a true loving relationship between husband
           and wife.

                2. Develop the habit of praying as a couple. Our
           daily communication with God becomes the life line for
           our spiritual development. In particular, our prayers as
           couples for the sake of the well-being of family members
           and other people cultivate our spiritual disposition to
           live for the sake of others. Soon we will discover that
           the habit of prayer in marriage is a win-win situation as

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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 8 

           we also develop the virtue of living for the sake of our
           spouse. Be creative if differing schedules do not give
           you enough time for daily prayers. Surprise your partner
           with a prayer on the phone or by using E-mail.

                3. Make loving your spouse a conscious decision. The
           internal disposition of a lasting commitment in marriage
           is based on the daily decision to make your spouse the
           number one priority in your life. Such a heartfelt
           appreciation of your partner is rooted in an ever present
           awareness of his or her absolute uniqueness as God's son
           or daughter. In fact, we can develop an overwhelming
           sense of appreciation of the special qualities of our
           mate as a human being that in turn commands a response of
           love and respect. With such a mind set, we will actively
           avoid the trap of taking each other for granted. Rather,
           we realize that a perpetual sense of newness in our
           marital relationship emerges from the simple habit of
           honoring our "better half". We may honor our spouse not
           only by expressing gratitude, appreciation or a sincere
           compliment, but more importantly by practicing a spirit
           of service. "I love you" is then communicated as "I care
           about our life together".

                To persevere in our conscious decision to honor and
           love our marriage partner may sometimes turn out to be a
           challenging task when facing each other's immaturities
           and weaknesses. We find ourselves battling a
           self-centered interpretation of what it means to love our
           mate. In fact, we are exposed to a culture that seems to
           operate on a fifty-fifty proposition for living out the
           marriage contract. This means, I love you if you love me.
           It explains the impoverishment of the marriage bond in
           terms of only offering conditional love to each other.
           However, in order to succeed in marriage, we need to turn
           to the hundred-hundred proposition of unconditional love.
           Only such a proposition of genuine self-giving will
           enable us to mobilize sufficient patience in times of
           difficulties and stress. Decide to plan some time
           together on a weekly basis, just you and your spouse
           spending "essential time" removed from the "urgent time"
           of our daily pressing agendas. Turning off the TV and
           talking to your spouse is one step in the right
           direction. Demonstrate in no uncertain terms that your
           spouse is number one in your life by showing plenty of
           affection, may it be through hugs or back rubs, or acts
           of kindness and service like cleaning up that messy
           drawer, washing the floor or doing other chores around
           the house.

                4. Learn effective communication skills. Kathy and
           Mark are one of those couples who are serious about
           improving their marriage. They have realized that it is
           not sufficient merely to endure in a boring and estranged
           relationship but they are looking for new avenues to turn

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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 9 

           their marriage into an exciting and satisfying adventure.
           They have come to understand that one issue deserves
           particular attention, namely, improving their
           communication skills. They have decided to focus on
           honestly communicating their feelings on a given issue or
           event. Before starting their dialogue, they agreed to
           follow certain rules that will enable them to build a
           safe atmosphere for communicating. It is like agreeing to
           the rules of a game. Within the framework of observing
           clear rules one can expect a joyful and meaningful
           result. This also holds true for developing communication
           skills, especially if the couple wants to discuss
           sensitive issues that underlie their marital
           relationship. Here, an atmosphere of mutual trust and
           openness becomes indispensable and it needs to be built
           with patience, care and a clear focus.

                Here is a set of rules Kathy and Mark agreed upon:

                (1) we agree to make an appointment for discussing a
           sensitive topic, clearly defining place and time.

                (2) we determine to limit our dialogue to the one
           topic that we previously selected

                (3) we each write for ten minutes one brief but
           loving letter to our spouse expressing with empathy our
           feelings about the selected topic

                (4) we read each other's letter carefully twice

                (5) we start our dialogue explaining to each other
           the feelings we have based on the letter we received

                (6) we observe the rule of active and empathic
           listening

                (7) we patiently discuss possible solutions for
           solving the previously defined difficulty or problem.

                (8) we agree to implement a clear course of action
           for improving our situation

                (9) we limit our dialogue to thirty minutes (or any
           suitable length)

                (10) we agree when to meet again for discussing the
           effectiveness of our course of action.

                4. The above listed points outline one possible set
           of rules. It is up to the couple to find rules they are
           comfortable with. As long as they observe the essential
           skill of empathic listening, their dialogue will move in
           the right direction. Emphatic listening means that you as
           the listener repeat the major points of your partner's

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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 10

           message in an emotionally responsive manner so that your
           spouse is assured of being fully understood.

                5. Become best friends as a couple. Friendship is
           the result of sharing common interests whereby the daily
           practice of kindness and respect creates an atmosphere of
           joy and trust. For the couple to build their friendship
           they need to take time to share mutually fulfilling
           activities. In this way they fill their hearts with
           joyful memories and develop a team spirit that will
           enable them to maintain an optimistic outlook on their
           marriage even in difficult times.

                To be best friends means to enjoy each other's
           company, not in a pleasure seeking superficial way but by
           exploring our partner's inner world, thus creating an
           atmosphere of mutual understanding. Friendship is also
           carried by the courage to have fun together. Often our
           marriages are driven by a sense of duty, the calling to
           fulfill a never ending list of responsibilities. Here, it
           takes courage to break the routine and to share fun
           activities together such as listening to our favorite
           music, going on a skiing trip or spending an afternoon at
           the bowling alley. The idea is not to escape our
           responsibilities, but to allow new life and joy to enter
           our marriages. The benefits from husband and wife being
           best friends are indeed beyond any rational calculation.

                In summing up the above issues, we can say that,
           once our internal attitudes are firmly rooted in a
           vibrant spiritual life, we are prepared to focus on
           relational skills that will strengthen our marriages.
           Today, we often find an imbalance between caring for our
           spiritual life and becoming more proficient in
           communication skills. On the one hand, there are numerous
           sincere believers who practice a spiritual path but are
           still ineffective in their attempt to improve their
           marriages and family relationships. On the other hand, we
           witness the rather limited success of secular marriage
           counselors who would only employ psychological insights
           in their practice, thus fighting a losing battle against
           the alarming decline of family life. A balanced approach
           is needed that combines the strengthening of internal
           attitudes based on religious convictions with the
           development of external skills that prove their
           effectiveness within the daily interactions of husband
           and wife.

                                       ..............................
                                        Dr. and Mrs. Dietrich Seidel
                                             are the co-directors of
                                        Life Enrichment Enterprises,
                                 P.O. Box 52, Barrytown, N.Y., 12507



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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 11


                             Third Grade Assignment:
                                 "Explain God"
                            .........................

                                                     by Danny Dutton

                One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes
           them to replace the ones that die so there will be enough
           people to take care of things here on earth. He doesn't
           make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are
           smaller and easier to make. That way, He doesn't have to
           take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk.
           He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.

                God's second most important job is listening to
           prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people,
           like preachers and things, pray at times besides bedtime.
           God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV on
           account of this. Since he hears everything, not only
           prayers, there must be a terrible lot of noise in His
           ears, unless He has thought of a way to turn it off. God
           sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere,
           which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting
           His time, by going over your parent's head asking for
           something they said you couldn't have.

                Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I
           don't think there are any in Chula Vista. At least there
           aren't any who come to our church. Jesus is God's son. He
           used to do all the hard work like walking on water and
           performing miracles and trying to teach the people who
           didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of
           him preaching to them and they crucified Him. But He was
           good and kind like His father and He told His father that
           they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them
           and God said OK. His Dad (God) appreciated everything He
           had done and all His hard work on earth so He told Him He
           didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay
           in heaven. So He did.

                And now he helps His Dad out by listening to prayers
           and seeing things which are important for God to take
           care of and which ones He can take care of Himself
           without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more
           important, of course. You can pray any time you want and
           they are sure to hear you because they got it worked out
           so one of them is on duty all the time.

                You should always go to church on Sunday because it
           makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make
           happy, it's God. Don't skip church to do something you
           think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is
           wrong! And besides, the sun doesn't come out at the beach
           until noon anyway.

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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 12

                If you don't believe in God, besides being an
           atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents
           can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can.
           It is good to know He's around you when you're scared in
           the dark or when you can't swim very good and you get
           thrown into deep water by big kids. But you shouldn't
           just always think of what God can do for you. I figure
           God put me here and He can take me back anytime He
           pleases. And that's why I believe in God.

                                  ..................................
                                        Danny Dutton is a 3rd Grader
                                         from Chula Vista California


                               * * * * * * * *

                               Letter to My Son
                              ..................

                                                by Richard A. Panzer

           Dear Son,

                A while back you asked me why there was so much talk
           on the news about the President, but before I could
           answer, you were distracted. I'm glad we didn't talk at
           that time because I needed a couple of weeks to compose
           my thoughts.

                You see when I was about your age, John F. Kennedy
           was elected President. Like President Clinton, he was
           young, dynamic, visionary and eloquent. I thought so
           highly of him, and his beautiful wife, that in my mind
           there was no career more noble, no higher calling, than
           to be President of the United States.

                Well, things have changed. We no longer live in an
           Age of Discretion, and, in fact, President Clinton stands
           accused of doing some of the same things that we now know
           Kennedy did do. The White House doesn't look as pure
           white as it used to...

                I'm not one of those who think a President can or
           should be impeached for having an affair with a
           twenty-one year old intern. Those who see a violation of
           a woman's virtue assume there was still some virtue left
           to be violated. Even the concept of virtue itself seems
           odd in an age of Sexual Rights.

                I guess what troubles me the most are not the sexual
           allegations themselves, but the lawyerly responses, the
           clever, deceptive use of language by the President of the
           United States. In my mind, a President should be more
           than a Defense-Counsel-in-Chief.

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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 13

                In the last election, I couldn't summon much
           enthusiasm for either main candidate. Clinton was, and
           is, a master orator, a spinner of dreams, but I doubted
           we could trust his words. Dole was one of the most
           inarticulate candidates in my lifetime. He never did
           manage to blurt out why anyone should vote for him. The
           American people, as they often do, voted for the voice of
           hope, energy and optimism and overlooked allegations of
           out-of-date improprieties.

                Now we are told that because the economy is doing
           well, the American people don't care if our President was
           carrying on in the Oval Office with someone else besides
           his wife. We are told that the Marriage Vow doesn't mean
           anything anymore, that we should become more broad-minded
           like the French, and accept Presidential Mistresses.
           Maybe we should add on a bungalow to the White House for
           a Presidential Concubine. It doesn't matter, as long as
           the economy is good. Remember, "it's the economy,
           stupid!"

                Well, I, for one, cannot accept the idea that as
           long as the money is flowing, all of us "animals down on
           the farm" should be contented. We aspire to be more than
           contented cattle, don't we? I appreciate and am grateful
           that many people are doing well, but everything can't be
           reduced to money. Can it?

                What rankles me just as much is the herd mentality
           we see in our country. The first week the Media jumped on
           the sexual allegations with more gusto than an O.J.
           trial, with sly innuendos and salacious double entendres
           to boost their ratings. When Mrs. Clinton stood up to
           defend her husband and bash the Investigation as a
           "right-wing conspiracy" and "witch-hunt" the herd began
           to stampede in the Clintons' direction.

                Well, I have never liked the "race-horse" approach
           to politics. I don't need or want to be always told who
           is ahead and who is behind. I don't care what the poll
           numbers for the past ten hours, ten minutes, or ten
           seconds, tell us. The value of all things is not power
           and political advantage. I feel insulted when the media
           assumes that that is all I care about.

                This isn't a game, where we can make a few dollars
           by betting on the right horse. This is our country, for
           God's sake! When will someone stand up and do what is
           right, instead of what lawyers, spin doctors, and poll
           analysts tell him to do?

                I would have more respect for him if President
           Clinton looked us right in the eye and told us the truth,
           whatever it might be, instead of these clever and
           byzantine deceptions: "Yes, I did inhale." "Yes, I did

------------------------------------------------------------------------
     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 14

           have sex with Gennifer Flowers." "Yes, I'll tell you the
           truth about my relationship with Monica Lewinsky, because
           truth is something we want our children to understand,
           because without truth there is no trust, because it's
           important to our country!"

                I have come to the conclusion that my view of
           President Kennedy more than thirty years ago was wrong. I
           was deceived by the inspiring words, the glamour, energy,
           and idealism, but now I know that those things, as
           attractive as they are, can be manufactured and marketed
           like any product.

                In my mind, to be a man is to be someone whose words
           can be trusted. To be a man is someone who is faithful to
           his wife, who is able to see another beautiful woman and
           say, "that is somebody else's wife, or the future wife of
           some other lucky guy, but I have loved and will continue
           to love my wife. By loving her, I am loving all women. By
           setting aside these other attractions, I am setting an
           example for other husbands, for other men."

                Son, you will often hear on the radio that probably
           the majority of married couples commit adultery. But that
           is a lie. The truth is that less than 1 in 5 couples in
           America experience infidelity. 80% of husbands and wives
           are trying to live by a moral code and succeed in doing
           so, not because they are dumb, not because they are blind
           or somehow disabled, not because they are unsophisticated
           as the Europeans would tell us. (They can take their
           corrupt "sophistication" and corrupt values and shove
           them you know where.)

                The vast majority of couples in the U.S. are
           faithful to each other because they know that there are
           some things more important than immediate gratification.
           To put it simply, they put a high value on being decent,
           as quaint as that might seem to some.

                Of all the honorable things a man can do in life,
           one of the most honorable is to become a father. I'm not
           talking about becoming a "sperm donor," I'm talking about
           becoming a father, someone who can pass on something to
           his son(s) or daughter(s) to be proud of. Not money or
           power, but pass on a tradition worth emulating: "Son (or
           Daughter), these are the principles I lived by. Fashions
           may change, but these ideals are real for our family. You
           can trust them. When you practice them, you'll grow."

                I feel deep shame and sadness for our country and
           for the First Couple. A marriage of political
           convenience, or of sacrifice for shared ambitions and
           political goals however laudable is not a marriage that I
           would want or wish on my worst enemy.


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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 15

                "Son, I did this and I achieved that, but I had sex
           with all these others while married to your mother."
           These are shameful words, and no media analyst or
           socalled "expert" will ever convince me otherwise.

                Son, be a man who will honor his commitments,
           especially the commitment of marriage. When I was your
           age, I thought being the President was the highest
           position you could aspire to. I was wrong.

                ....................................................
                Richard Panzer is the founder of Free Teens, and the
                      President of the Center for Educational Media.
                           You can email him at: CenEdMedia@aol.com.
                         Check out his website at: www.freeteens.org


                               * * * * * * * *


                                  Love Nerves
                                 .............

                                                      by Tymon Brown
                                                    written at age 7

                Wouldn't it be great
                if we only had nerves
                that could feel love?
                Then the whole world
                would only feel good things,
                And nobody would feel anything bad.


                               * * * * * * * *


             Some Questions Raised by the Movie "Contact"
            ..............................................

                                             by Betsy Mathews Wright

                Until I saw the movie "Contact" this week,(July
           '97) I doubted the worthiness of debates on whether or
           not there is intelligent life beyond earth. After all,
           most folks have their minds made up on the topic, so
           there really didn't seem like much more for thoughtful
           people of faith to discuss.

                The pragmatist in me wanted to yell at all those
           arguing: "Why does it matter? Aren't there enough
           pressing matters here that need our attention? So beam us
           back to Earth, Scottie, and let's get back to the
           business of this planet, without worrying over another
           world."

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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 16

                Well, like I said, that's how I felt before I saw
           "Contact."

                Walking from the theater, I felt as if I'd had my
           theological socks knocked off. It made my brain swim with
           questions about God, science, technology, truth and of
           course, the existence of intelligent life "out there".

                In case you've been living in a cave, "Contact" is
           the new Jodie Foster film based on Carl Sagan's novel
           about man's search for intelligent life beyond this
           planet. What the movie attempts - and succeeds to do so
           eloquently - is draw closer the wide gulf between science
           and religion. It shows that both are relevant. That we
           don't have to exclude one for the other in our attempt to
           find truth. Both can help individuals answer the eternal
           question, "What is the meaning of my life?"

                I've always assumed there is other intelligent life out
           there. I guess I've seen enough "Nova" programs to
           understand the sheer statistical probability of it. With
           all the billions of stars in the universe, it seems
           incredibly arrogant to believe that our solar system, via
           our planet, is the only one that contains life.

                What "Contact" did for me, though, is help me see
           the religious ramification of that assumption.

                If we do find other intelligent life out there, will
           it look like us? And if it doesn't, what does that do to
           our belief that we are made in God's image? Also, how
           will God have revealed himself to these others? If the
           revelation is different from our own, and they are more
           advanced than us, will we take that to mean they know God
           better than we do and accept their version of God?

                As a Christian, I naturally must wonder how Jesus
           fits into this picture? Has Jesus been to their planet,
           too? If so, would that convince the millions of
           non-Christians here of his divinity? If not, does that
           mean Jesus was just a man and that Christians like me
           have spent the past 2,000 years worshipping a piece of
           fiction?

                Conversely, what if we are the only sentient beings
           in the universe? Why would God waste so much space - to
           borrow a phrase from the movie - with a cosmos? Is it
           just for our viewing pleasure? Is it there just as a
           centuries-old navigational tool for humanity? Did God
           made the cosmos just to make us feel tiny and
           unimportant? Did he make it to make us feel his majesty?

                In "Contact", the main character says she wishes she
           could share her extraterrestrial experience with every
           human, filling them with both awe and humility in order

------------------------------------------------------------------------
     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 17

           to give them hope. She says she'd like all humans to
           understand that we are both insignificant and yet rare
           and unique.

                Isn't that what religion does? Religion tries to
           balance our feelings of insignificance with our feelings
           of preciousness. Religious faith can fill us with awe for
           a creator who is much greater, wiser and wonderful that
           we can ever imagine, humbling us with the realization
           that we can never fully know our maker.

                Religious faith can also make us feel precious to
           God, a creator who knows every one of us intimately down
           to the number of hairs on each of our heads.

                "Contact" makes you think about all of this. It also
           deals with the uglier side of religion, examining the
           fear that the discovery of other life in the universe
           would bring. It shows how extremist groups might
           violently react when traditional tenets of faith are
           threatened. That's something to ponder.

                The movie made me realize we have several options.
           We can choose to believe we are probably not alone in
           this universe and get comfortable with the vulnerability
           that mystery brings. We can choose to dismiss this
           notion, which means believing that we are truly God's
           chosen species and that all those other stars and
           galaxies and planets have no life forms and were created
           by God for us alone. Or we can choose to believe that
           there are other planets, with other life forms, but that
           those aliens certainly resemble us and they certainly
           follow one of our faiths.

                I'll go with choice No. 1. I believe having a
           relationship with God is about learning you are not God.
           It's understanding that we humans can't know all that God
           has going on, here or elsewhere. It mean's humbling
           ourselves with wonder, not hoisting ourselves upon a
           pedestal of arrogance.

                Once more, there comes a debate that reminds us
           humans that having a relationship with God means knowing
           there's much more that we don't know than there is of
           what we do know.

                And that makes the debate worthwhile.

                        ............................................
                         Betsy's column comes to us with permission.
                                  She writes for the Virginian-Pilot
                      at 921 Battlefield Blvd., Chesapeake VA 23320.




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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 18

                               Kitchen Billiards
                              ...................

                                                 by Kim Korman Brown

                I chalk the end of my mop
                and pop
                that watermelon chunk off the baseboard.
                Look at the lineup on the floor:
                A puddle of sticky apple juice,
                a variety of crumbs,
                a bacterial homestead.
                I press against the table and take aim at stray toys
                and lob them into the next room
                with a vengeance.
                I clean up that green felt linoleum like Minnesota Fats,
                gather my winnings, and flick off the light.


                               * * * * * * * *


                      The Sad Tale of Rupert and Eggbert
                     ....................................

                                                   by Peter F. Brown

                Rupert was a peaceful cat.

                He lay in the sun all day, dreaming of nice things
           that walked on four legs.

                He was a playful cat.

                One day, a small, timid mouse named Eggbert danced
           across Rupert's nose.

                But Rupert wasn't upset at all. No, not at all.

                He lay there calmly, wondering why Eggbert had two
           g's in his name. He wondered if the mouse had a brother
           named Bacon.

                Eggbert was a merry fellow. He danced and played and
           frolicked around Rupert for quite a long time -- a long
           time, that is, for a mouse. He twirled his tiny whiskers,
           and danced, and danced, thinking all the while about New
           York Cheddar.

                Rupert was glad that Eggbert had come to see him. He
           didn't mind the dancing -- at least not for a little
           while.

                After a bit, Rupert gazed out of the window, and
           dreamed of nice things that walked on four legs.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 19

                He yawned and smiled, rather sleepily.

                When Rupert glanced away from the window, Eggbert
           was nowhere to be seen.

                But Rupert didn't mind at all.

                No, not at all, for Rupert's tummy was now full.


                               * * * * * * * *


                           The Movie Mom's Guide to
                           Family Movies and Videos
                          ..........................

                                                       by Nell Minow

                Reviews for parents of the best of current films and
           old movies available on video and cable, by Nell Minow,
           author, film critic, and mother. Reviews will be updated
           each week with recommendations and replies to questions
           about movies on special topics, suitability of particular
           movies for children, and movie trivia--try to stump me!
           I'd also love your suggestions for a new book on movies
           for families. The best kids' comments I receive will be
           published. The Movie Mom (TM)

           Now in Theaters
           ***************

           The Man in the Iron Mask
           ........................

           (1998) Rated PG-13 for
           violence and sexual references

                It's more than 20 years since the "all for one and
           one for all" days and the Three Musketeers and their
           friend D'Artagnan (Gabriel Byrne) have gone their
           separate ways. Athos (John Malkovich) is a loving father
           to his son, Raoul, himself a Musketeer; Artemis (Jeremy
           Irons) is a priest; and Porthos (Gerard Depardieu) is
           something of a libertine. Only D'Artagnan is still in
           service to the cruel and selfish young king, forever
           loyal to the crown, if not the man who wears it, and to
           his own true love, the king's mother.

                A mysterious prisoner in an iron mask turns out to
           be the king's identical twin brother, and the original
           Musketeers free him so they can substitute him for the
           king, whose subjects are rioting in the streets to
           protest his neglect and abuse. The result is a
           respectable -- if slow-moving -- swashbuckler with teen

------------------------------------------------------------------------
     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 20

           idol Leonardo DiCaprio appearing as the twins. With
           double the roles he plays in "Titanic" and some good
           swordfighting scenes, this will have strong appeal for
           boys and girls in the 8-16 range. Parents should know,
           however, that there is some coarse language, overheard
           sex, suggested group sex, and a young woman who kills
           herself when she finds out that the king deliberately
           caused the death of her beloved (Athos' son Raoul) so
           that he could seduce her. Families who do see the movie
           should take the opportunity to talk about some of the
           issues of conflicts and loyalty it raises.

           Titanic
           .......

                (1997) Rated PG-13 for brief nudity, sexual
           references, tension, and tragedy

                Classic Greek tragedies explored the theme of hubris
           as human characters dared to take on the attributes of
           the gods only to find their hopes crushed. This is a
           real-life story of hubris, as the ship declared to be
           "unsinkable" (and therefore not equipped with lifeboats
           for the majority of the passengers) sank on its maiden
           voyage from England to the United States.

                In this blockbuster movie, winner of ten Oscars
           including Best Picture and Best Director and on its way
           to becoming the highest-grossing movie of all time, the
           disaster serves as the backdrop to a tragic love story
           between Rose (Kate Winslet), an upper class (though
           impoverished) girl and Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio), a lower
           class (though artistic) boy who won the ticket in a poker
           game. Parents should know that the movie features brief
           nudity (as Rose poses for Jack) and suggested sex (in a
           steamy car). A much more serious concern is the tragedy
           itself, with hundreds of frozen dead bodies floating in
           the water, which may be upsetting or even terrifying for
           some kids.

                The movie raises important questions about choices
           faced by the characters, as we see a wide range of
           behavior from the most honorable to the most despicable.
           The captain (whose decision to try to break a speed
           record contributed to the disaster) and the ship's
           designer (whose plan for additional lifeboats was
           abandoned because it made the decks look too cluttered)
           go down with the ship, but the owner and Rose's greedy
           and snobbish fiance survive. Molly Brown (dubbed
           "Unsinkable" for her bravery that night) tries to
           persuade the other passengers in the lifeboats to go back
           for the rest. But they refuse, knowing that there is no
           way to rescue them without losing their own lives. They
           wait to be picked up by another ship, listening to the
           shrieks of the others until they are all gone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 21

                Many parents have asked me about the appeal of this
           movie to young teens, especially teen-age girls. The
           answer is that in addition to the appeal of its young
           stars, director James Cameron has written an almost
           perfect adolescent fantasy for girls. Rose is an ideal
           heroine, rebelling against her mother's snobbishness and
           insistence that she marry for money. And Jack is an ideal
           romantic hero -- sensitive, brave, honorable, completely
           devoted, and (very important for young girls) not
           aggressive (she makes the decision to pursue the
           relationship, and he is struck all but dumb when she
           insists on posing nude). If he is not quite androgynous,
           he is not exactly bursting with testosterone either, and,
           ultimately, he is not around. As with so many other
           fantasies of the perfect romance, from Heathcliff and
           Cathy in "Wuthering Heights" to Rick and Ilse in
           "Casablanca" the characters have all the pleasures of the
           romantic dream with no risk of having to actually build a
           life with anyone. It is interesting that the glimpses we
           get of Rose's life after the Titanic show her alone,
           though we meet her granddaughter and hear her refer to
           her husband. Parents can have some very good discussions
           with teens about this movie by listening carefully and
           respectfully when they explain why it is important to
           them, as this is a crucial stage in their development.
                     ...............................................
                             The Movie Mom's Guide is on the web at:
                     http://pages.prodigy.com/moviemom/moviemom.html
                            "Movie Mom" is a trademark of Nell Minow
                                    All material (C) 1998 Nell Minow
                                                Email: nellm@aol.com


                               * * * * * * * *


                              - HeartQuestions -
                         Questions & Reflections about
                     Marriage, Parenting, Family & Society
                    ---------------------------------------

              [Romance after Children; Abstinence v. Pre-Marital
                       Sex; the Commitment of Marriage]

                                                   by Peter F. Brown

           DEAR PETER:

                We are the parents of a one year old daughter and
           the opportunities for romance are now very few and far
           between. What can I do that is romantic for my husband
           that I can do while she's sleeping? Basically, I'm saying
           a get away is needed but impossible.

           Billi Wagner

------------------------------------------------------------------------
     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 22

           DEAR BILLI:

                Life does change when we have children, doesn't it?
           I remember taking our (then) two year old boy to a
           restaurant, and having him throw his milk bottle over the
           railing, directly onto the shiny bald pate of an adjacent
           diner. What an evening! You still have time, though,
           because you have only one young child (so far.) One
           possibility for you is to make a scrumptious dinner for
           your husband, with candlelight, etc., and create a
           romantic ambiance right at home. I would recommend
           dressing up for dinner -- wear that fabulous gown that he
           may not have seen in awhile. Just make sure you mutually
           agree to it - so he doesn't decide to go to a baseball
           game instead, on the way home. Knowing that such a
           romantic dinner awaits him will fill him with such eager
           anticipation that he'll look forward to it all day.

           DEAR PETER:

                I have just read Julie Mckinnon's letter [from Dec.
           22, 1997]. I'm on the other side and wonder if there is
           anything I can do to promote my husband of 9 months'
           feelings to grow toward my son. We married and moved 3
           states away from all family. My son is 7 and his father
           has broken all communication with him unless he is
           visiting with other family and is asked to see him. My
           husband is a very good man and has handled a few
           disciplinary problems very well. There just doesn't seem
           to be any relationship budding. My son is a loving little
           boy and has never resented my husband. He seems to want
           to have a relationship with him. My husband has never
           been around children much because he is the baby of his
           family. Is there anything I can do beside the prayer and
           waiting I've been doing?

           K.L.

           DEAR K.L:

                You might recommend parenting classes to your
           husband, as a natural outgrowth of his new
           responsibilities as a step father. Additionally, it's
           very effective to have him spend time with his new son -
           one on one. Of course you can join in - perhaps you can
           all play games together. I think it would help to just
           get to know him better - which requires a lot of personal
           and casual interaction, with your husband listening to
           your son, in order to find out about his feelings.

           DEAR PETER:

                What is the origin of the traditional marriage vows?
           Thank you.
           TV

------------------------------------------------------------------------
     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 23

           DEAR TV:

                I traced the vows back to the Wedding Ceremony
           contained in the 1662 Book of Common Prayer used by the
           Anglican Church in England. You can read the unedited
           text at "http://paul.spu.edu/~kst/bib/1662boc.txt", a web
           site dealing with Medieval and Renaissance wedding
           information. The vows end with the familiar words, "WITH
           this Ring I thee wed...".

           DEAR PETER:

                My 19 year old foster daughter has just stated that
           she no longer believes that -- absent pregnancy or STDs
           -- it is wrong to engage in premarital sex. I have no
           hard evidence to present to her about the near and long
           term emotional negative impacts of such activities. She
           has pledged to abstain until graduation from college (2
           years) and has acquiesced to my attempting to return her
           to our (formerly) mutual way of thinking. Can you offer a
           resource that would provide data about those long-term
           ill affects? She is as left-brained as I and responds to
           rational argument and data - although it needs to be
           fairly convincing because the hormones are starting to
           rage!

           DWT

           DEAR DWT:

                I highly recommend the "FreeTeens" program. You can
           learn about it at "freeteens.org". It's a program for
           teenagers that speaks to them in their language, about
           the perils of pre-marital sex. It very clearly and
           strongly recommends abstinence as the only good method of
           avoiding STDs such as AIDS. It also recommends abstinence
           because of its good effect on young people, in terms of
           character building, and building the foundation for a
           healthy marriage. It has a lot of statistics to back up
           its arguments for abstinence.

           DEAR PETER:

           Is marriage possible for the future? I have been in
           a relationship for 6 years with someone that I love very
           much. However, I am sorry to say that I do not think that
           it will go any farther than our situation now we are
           living together. We have been, for most of the 6 years.
           We each have one son; they both live with us and get
           along fine. The problems we have always seem to come

           around the time that we have set to actually get married.
           I just don't understand. I feel in my heart that he
           really does not want to be married again. I am not sure
           that I want to continue on in this relationship with

------------------------------------------------------------------------
     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 24

           someone that does not consider me good enough or right to
           marry. Please give me your opinion.

           Lil

           DEAR LIL:

                I recommend marriage, because of its eternal
           commitment to one's spouse (among other reasons.) A
           relationship of real love requires an unwavering
           commitment to go through the bad times or struggles that
           happen between couples. Marriage is many things, but one
           of its primary components is (and should be) that the
           spouses pledge their love to each other. How will it last
           if they can't do that? You have children, so it's more
           complicated for them if you break up with him, even
           though you're not married. I would recommend that you try
           to get him to understand that committing to marriage is
           easy if he is truly committed to his love for you and the
           children. If he's not committed, then why isn't he?
           Perhaps you can lead him through the process of answering
           those questions.
            ........................................................
                           Peter F. Brown is the author of the book,
                           "Striving for Parental Love" and lives in
                      Virginia Beach, VA with his wife Kim and their
                   four children, Tymon, Thea Grace, Ranin and Tadin
                          HeartQuestions is published as a column on
                                   The HeartThread Resource Page at:
                                            "http://futurerealm.com"
                                   Email: peterbrown@futurerealm.com


                               * * * * * * * *

                                   A Picnic
                                  ..........

                                                 by Kim Korman Brown

                My husband and I recently went to a book sale at the
           Chrysler Museum of Art, in Norfolk, Virginia. 40,000
           books were donated to the museum for the fund raiser.
           Peter and I were drooling, hoping to find old copies of
           N.C. Wyeth illustrated classics, maybe some Thornton W.
           Burgess, or other treasures to add to our children's
           library.

                We ended up buying 102 old books which cost us a
           whopping $42. We didn't find everything we were looking
           for, but we still got some great stuff. We got several
           anthologies packed with stories and essays from the 19th
           and early 20th centuries. One story I read from these
           impacted me very much. It was written by someone named S.
           Libin, a Russian born writer, who specialized mainly in

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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 25

           stories about Jewish immigrants living in urban America.
           This story was reprinted in a 1935 collection of stories
           and essays entitled, "Today's Literature, An Omnibus".
           It doesn't say, but it probably takes place around the
           turn of the century.

                The story deals with Shmuel, the cap maker, and his
           wife, Sarah, who once went for a picnic that went wrong.
           They live in a crowded tenement where they "sit day and
           night, sweating in the dark", with their six children.
           One day, Shmuel comes home and proposes to his wife that
           they go on a picnic. They've been in America for a long
           time now, and his wife only knows her way to the market
           and back. They've never seen anything or been anywhere.
           It's time to take a little time and enjoy life like
           normal people.

                So they struggle to decide if they can afford the 80
           cents for carfare and food. (The picnic will be a bottle
           of milk, a damaged pineapple, a few bananas and some
           rolls.) They spend an entire Sunday morning scrubbing the
           children, sewing a button on where it's needed, and
           grooming themselves to get ready to go out. Sarah wears
           her old, satin wedding dress. They board the streetcar
           and are on their way.

                After traveling a while, the baby, who had been
           dozing, wakes up feeling sick and starts to cry. The
           mother tries to hush him and then all the children start
           to cry. The conductor gives the mother a dirty look, and
           the father drops the bag of refreshments, breaking the
           bottle of milk.

                They get off the streetcar at a park, exhausted and
           disheartened. Sarah says to Shmuel, "So nothing would
           content him but a picnic? Much good may it do him! You're
           a workman, and workmen have no call to go gadding about!"

                But the mother sits down and nurses the baby, the
           children play in the grass, and they hear the music of a
           street musician nearby. They begin to feel better. The
           couple sit, lost in thought. The wife puts her hand on
           her husband's knee, and she nearly cries thinking about
           their hard, bitter life. It seems like they are on the
           verge of a breakthrough in communication, a moment of
           beautiful closeness.

                Suddenly, it begins to rain. They dash to a shelter
           and all the children start to cry again, this time with
           hunger. Shmuel opens the bag of food to find everything
           soaked and smashed. Sarah's heart fills with venom, and
           she whispers to him, "The same to you, my good man."

                Shmuel has 5 cents left and goes to a refreshment
           stand to buy something for his children to eat. It costs

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     The HeartThread Journal                                     Page 26

           20 cents for a glass of milk and a roll. He is completely
           crestfallen and comes back empty handed. His wife curses
           him saying, "I'll pay you out for...the whole of my
           miserable existence."

                They return home, separated in heart. Sarah refuses
           him dinner and he goes to bed hungry, repeating all night
           in his sleep, "A picnic, oi, a picnic."

                It said in the "Omnibus" that this story was
           supposed to be extracting humor from a distressing event.
           I cried when I finished reading it. I thought this story
           was completely heartbreaking. It was the only time in
           this couple's entire lives that they ever tried to have a
           little fun. It backfired, and they never tried again.

                The story plainly illustrates the hardship
           experienced by working class people, at a time when
           freedom was not easily enjoyed. They had little
           discretionary time or money. Communication between
           married couples wasn't stressed as much as it is today.
           Even though married couples tended to stay together more,
           people held grudges against each other and endured their
           loneliness separately. Sarah's harshness is hard to
           forgive, especially when it follows the tender feelings
           she had for Shmuel briefly in the park. You think that
           because they've stuck it out together for so long that
           they will finally get to enjoy the beautiful intimacy
           that can develop from suffering together. The saddest
           part of the story is that Sarah cancels their chance for
           the ecstasy of unity, by having a hard heart toward her
           husband. His only crime was wanting to enjoy life a
           little. When he gives up too, he succumbs to the
           historical tendency that infers that it's not the place
           of working people to have fun.

                Happily, human relationships have improved since
           this era, and society is less class-oriented. It is now
           universally accepted that all levels of society have the
           right to pursue happiness. It is pitiful to consider all
           of the people who have lived and died in utter drudgery,
           rarely knowing a fulfilling moment.

                Reading about different historical time periods
           makes us aware of the generations who became the
           foundation of the world we enjoy now. America was settled
           by immigrants seeking a better future for themselves and
           their children. Very few of them actually tasted those
           benefits. Things change slowly. The sacrifice of those
           who came before us is dignified when we don't take our
           blessings for granted. So, the next time you go on a
           picnic, have a good time.
                             ........................................
                               Kim Korman Brown is a writer and a Mom
                                      Email: kimbrown@futurerealm.com

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     The HeartThread Journal                                    Page 27 


                        The HeartThread Resource Guide
                - Resources for Couples, Parents & Families -
               ...............................................

             If you have any books, products, services, seminars,
                 or other helpful items that you would like us
                 to mention in this space, please email us at
                         "peterbrown@futurerealm.com".

               Ad spaces are 23 character wide x 18 lines long.
            Submissions should be formatted correctly and emailed.

              This advertising space is FREE for a limited time.
             Items do not have to fall within specific categories,
              but we do reserve the right to selectively approve
                          any and all advertisements.

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     The HeartThread Journal                                    Page 28
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     The HeartThread Journal                                    Page 29