The HeartThread Journal - March, 1996 Issue
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* The HeartThread Journal *
- The Journal of
Marriage,
Parenting &
International Family Traditions -
----------------------------------
Vol. 1, No. 3
March 31, 1996
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Published by FutureRealm Productions
* The HeartThread Journal *
- The Journal of Marriage, Parenting & International Family Traditions -
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Vol. 1, No. 3 March 31, 1996
"To promote and encourage the 'thread' of unselfish heart and love
that invisibly connects husbands and wives, parents and children,
and brothers and sisters."
------------------------------
From the Editor
...............
Our March issue has been slightly delayed because
the cold brutal winter in Virginia Beach (the coldest
since the close of the dinosaur age) took its sneaky toll
on your humble editor and knocked him flat with two
months of pneumonia. I'd never had it before, and I have
to admit that I was quite surprised.
Things are back on track now, and I am equally glad
to say that spring is tentatively peeking around the
corner. (It's still a bit scared.)
This issue has heart, humor, and bits of wisdom here
and there. My wife and I almost fell off our chairs when
we read the article "Preparation for Parenthood". If any
of you know who the author is, let me know -- he deserves
a free carton of diapers for his trouble.
Next month we'll have another article on music and
children, from Greta Ward, part of our "continuing
series" efforts to examine different issues in depth.
I've decided to keep the HTJ at this length because
I want to give enough space to authors to really dig into
important topics. I think that that's what differentiates
a journal from a newsletter, in one sense.
As always, we have an ongoing request for columns
and articles that examine the varied issues of marriage,
parenting and family. Don't be shy -- write your
reflections down, and send them to me via email. Our
readers have a lot to say.
Peter F. Brown
Editor & Publisher
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The HeartThread Journal Page 1
TABLE OF CONTENTS
* From the Editor, Peter F. Brown ......................1
* Letters to the Editor ................................5
* I Can Fly Dad!, by Richard R. Radtke .................5
* Preparation for Parenthood, (Author Unknown) .........7
* Maria, by Olga S. Hardman ...........................10
* Recreating Ourselves as Parents, by Edy Iversen .....12
* The Movie Mom's Guide to Movies
and Videos for Families, by Nell Minow ..............14
(Review of Muppet Treasure Island)
* Mother Linda's Irresistible Fudge Brownies ..........16
* HeartQuestions / Questions & Reflections
about Marriage, Parenting & Family Issues
by Peter F. Brown ...................................16
[Maintaining an Atmosphere of Heart in Marriage]
* Overheard, by Kim Korman Brown ......................19
* The HeartThread Resource Guide,
Resources for Couples, Parents & Families ...........23
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The HeartThread Journal Page 2
The HeartThread Journal
is published by FutureRealm Productions
Publisher and Editor - Peter F. Brown
Co-Publisher - Kim Korman Brown
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Visit our web page, "The HeartThread Resource Page", at:
"http://futurerealm.com"
or email us at: "peterbrown@futurerealm.com"
You can mail us at:
FutureRealm Productions
P.O. Box 4131
Virginia Beach, VA 23454 / USA
or you can call us at: (804) 468-6848
or fax us at: (804) 468-6461
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SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION / Email Version & Printed Version
**********************************************************
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Please mail US Bank Check or Money Order to the above address.
The promotional free Internet subscriptions are not contractually
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continue indefinitely for free until the publishers
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Free subscribers will be notified when this happens,
and will be offered a regular subscription.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
WRITERS ARE ALWAYS NEEDED
*************************
If you want to write for The HeartThread Journal,
we will be happy to review your article, column or story.
Please review our "Writers Guidelines" on our web page,
and email us your proposal or actual work.
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The HeartThread Journal Page 3
ADVERTISING INFORMATION
***********************
Advertising products or services of value or interest
to parents, couples or families is encouraged.
Brief textual advertisements will appear in the
"HeartThread Resource Guide" at the end of this journal.
For a limited time, advertisements will be FREE.
When this special advertising promotion ends,
advertising rates will be published.
FREE ADVERTISING FOR AUTHORS
****************************
All authors receive FREE advertising space in
the issue that their article or column appears.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
COPYRIGHT INFORMATION
*********************
All materials contained herein are
(C) Copyright 1996 by FutureRealm Productions
except for individual articles and columns,
which are Copyrighted by their respective authors.
Individual authors retain all rights to their articles,
unless otherwise specified.
All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
No part of this journal may be used or reproduced
in any manner whatsoever without
written permission from the publisher,
or the individual authors
(in the case of their articles or columns),
except in cases of brief quotations
embodied in articles and reviews.
Opinions expressed by writers in The HeartThread Journal
are not necessarily those of FutureRealm Productions.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
*********************
Readers wishing to submit a letter should email it to:
"peterbrown@futurerealm.com"
or send it by regular mail to the above address.
Letters may be edited for grammar or length.
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The HeartThread Journal Page 4
Letters to the Editor
.......................
Wednesday, March 20, 1996
It's wonderful to read articles and letters from the
other side of the world - well almost - and know that
there are people out there who have the same values and
concerns as yourself. Keep up the great! work.
The biggest problem facing Africa and especially
South Africa at the moment is the disintegration of the
traditional family structure. Africa traditionally
revolved around the extended family. That is how its
economics, politics, education, culture, values operated.
Then along came - in swift succession - colonialists and
the twentieth century. Whoosh - all wiped out. Migrant
labour, servitude, poverty, disempowerment, forced
removals and the family disintegrated.
Here we are very fortunate in that Madiba (Pres.
Mandela) is committed to reinforcing the family and its
structure. We too will have to be innovative and find
ways to support and encourage nuclear families as well as
extended ones.
......................
Hilary R. Peace-McLeod
South Africa
Monday, March 18, 1996
Just wanted you to know how much I enjoyed Kim's
article on Gracie. I love seeing a female with a mind of
her own. Don't break her spirit! As regards clothing, I'm
sure you'll need to "bend" it a little, but don't break
it.
(Editor's Note: This letter refers to a column of Kim's
that is on our web page, entitled "Gracie the Viking".)
.............
Olga Hardman
West Virginia
* * * * * * * *
I Can Fly Dad!
................
by Richard R. Radtke
My son Ethan's birthday was the other day. He's four
years old and going strong. Every day, like every child,
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The HeartThread Journal Page 5
he discovers something new, and I with him. He has a
stubborn streak, which is good, although there are
"times"... He is curious, and tries to be helpful when he
can -- usually I just grin at him and sigh inside, then
follow behind and pick up.
One morning not long ago I was standing in the
bathroom, shaving, having just showered and dressed.
Ethan came tapping at the closed door, and I said "What
now Ethan?", (probably a little too gruffly, I now
realize.) His small, strong voice answered, somewhat
muffled through the door, "Dad ... Dad, I can fly", in a
solemn voice akin to that of a judge passing sentence.
At this point I feel I must ask you, the reader --
from what deep wellspring of adult wisdom can one pull up
a reply to that pronouncement? Do you take the time to
sit down and say, "No, son you really can't fly, but you
can imagine that you can", this approach designed to
shower him with a cold dose of reality, followed up with
an explanation of why he can't fly. Unfortunately to the
child, this approach can be likened to Mom or Dad coming
home and walking in the door announcing, "Whoops, I ran
over the Easter bunny on the way home."
I suppose there are parents out there who would take
a psychological approach, Dr. Spock and all that. Well, I
chose another course in this instance, and gave Ethan the
well known and much practiced "Dad" reply. This is a
world renowned reply which we fathers (and husbands)
reserve for those special situations when we are actually
confused, a situation that occurs among men with
frightful regularity, at least according to all those
fancy studies.
Really, men can handle most tangible things and
situations. For instance; we can handle shoveling the
snow, we can handle a broken faucet, but announcements
that come from left field, make us..., well, have you
ever seen the confusion in a deer's eyes, when he is
caught in the glare of your headlights on the road? A man
who has just heard one of those left field announcements
feels like that, trapped as it were, with nowhere to run.
Now, getting back on track to the patented "Dad" reply,
its time honored lines go simply, "That's nice son" (and
yes, you can insert "dear" in place of "son").
Tried and true, burnished with the voices of
thousands of men through centuries of use, I uttered the
perfected phrase, "That's nice son", and Ethan, satisfied
now that his great announcement from left field had
received its accolades, went back to every little
brother's main passion in life, namely that of annoying
his older brother. I relaxed, knowing the crisis had
passed, reassured now as to the wisdom of my reply by the
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The HeartThread Journal Page 6
sound of Ethan's footsteps receding into the distance,
and went back to my shaving. Here the story could end,
but it doesn't.
I stood there looking into the mirror, thinking that
perhaps Ethan really could fly. It really would not
surprise me -- if anyone could, it would be Ethan. I
remembered in my youth when I too could fly. Now that I'm
grown up I can't. I don't really know exactly when it was
that I discovered I couldn't fly anymore -- perhaps it
was around the same time that I stopped seeing animal
shapes in the fluffy clouds of the sky. I don't really
know, at least not exactly, but a lot of my childhood
magic disappeared one day. I stopped shaving and stood
there, staring at myself in the mirror on the wall. I
silently wished for the magic's return, but the magic did
not appear.
Finished shaving, I walked out into the living room,
to find Willis and Ethan playing, so I paused and just
watched. Ethan was sitting in the laundry basket, (the
one he has been told to leave alone numerous times.) I
felt a sharp word spring to my lips. Before it was
uttered, Ethan, in a breath of childish glee, called out,
"Daddy, my jet, I'm flying, see!!" The word of rebuke
forgotten, I stared, and for a brief instant, I saw what
Ethan saw there. The clear blue sky, fluffy clouds
floating by, and way, way down below many people looking
up at me, waving... and for a small second of time, that
long forgotten magic of childhood came back and revisited
my soul.
One last little thing, to tie up this tail --
(forgive the pun) it's about the Easter Bunny -- he's
still alive and doing quite well....
.......................................
Richard R. Radtke is a dad and a writer
* * * * * * * *
Preparation for Parenthood
............................
Author Unknown
(Editor's Note: This was sent to me by a friend. It
has been posted on many different Usenet newsgroups over
a period of years. No one seems to know who the author is
-- I'd love to find out, so I can compliment him or her
on a hilarious commentary on reality.)
* * *
Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of
reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12
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simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare
themselves for the real-life experience of being a mother
or father.
1. Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a
dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave
it there for 9 months. After 9 months, take out 10% of
the beans. Men: to prepare for paternity, go to the local
chemist, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter,
and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the
supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to
their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper. Read it
for the last time.
2. Before you finally go ahead and have children,
find a couple who are already parents and berate them
about their methods of discipline, lack of patience,
appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have
allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways in which
they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet
training, table manners and overall behavior. Enjoy it -
it'll be the last time in your life that you will have
all the answers.
3. To discover how the nights will feel, walk around
the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag
weighing approximately 8-12 lbs. At 10pm put the bag
down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up
at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the
bag, till 1am. Put the alarm on for 3am. As you can't get
back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a drink. Go to bed
at 2:45am. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
Sing songs in the dark until 4am. Put the alarm on for
5am. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years.
Look cheerful.
4. Can you stand the mess children make? To find
out, smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the
curtains. Hide a fish finger behind the stereo and leave
it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the
flowerbeds, then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the
stains with crayons. How does that look?
5. Dressing small children is not as easy as it
seems: first buy an octopus and a string bag. Attempt to
put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the
arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.
6. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and
a pot of paint turn it into an alligator. Now take a
toilet tube. Using only scotch tape and a piece of foil,
turn it into a Christmas cracker. Last, take a milk
container, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Coco
Pops and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.
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The HeartThread Journal Page 8
Congratulations. You have just qualified for a place on
the playgroup committee.
7. Forget the Miata and buy a Taurus. And don't
think you can leave it out in the driveway, spotless and
shining. Family cars don't look like that. Buy a
chocolate ice cream bar and put it in the glove
compartment. Leave it there. Get a quarter. Stick it in
the cassette player. Take a family-size packet of
chocolate cookies. Mash them down the back seats. Run a
garden rake along both sides of the car. There. Perfect.
8. Get ready to go out. Wait outside the toilet for
half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go
out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front
path. Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk very
slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect
minutely every cigarette end, piece of used chewing gum,
dirty tissue and dead insect along the way. Retrace your
steps. Scream that you've had as much as you can stand,
until the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up
and go back into the house. You are now just about ready
to try taking a small child for a walk.
9. Always repeat everything you say at least five
times.
10. Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the
nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a
fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more
than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's
groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you
can easily accomplish this do not even contemplate having
children.
11. Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the
side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side
to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Weetabix and attempt to
spoon it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an
aeroplane. Continue until half the Weetabix is gone. Tip
the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it
falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12-month
old baby.
12. Learn the names of every character from Postman
Pat, Fireman Sam and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. When
you find yourself singing "Postman Pat" at work, you
finally qualify as a parent.
* * * * * * * *
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Maria
.......
by Olga S. Hardman
Maria Boulanger - such a euphonious name you
carried. Were you related to the famous Parisian, the
piano teacher, Nadia? Did it bother you to give up your
maiden name, the melodious Boulanger, to become Caussin?
I have a feeling you never gave that a second thought.
The Women's Lib Movement would have said that your
identity was jeopardized, that your self-hood was
compromised when you gave up your family name for that of
another. Yet, seventy-five years after your death, here
am I, your granddaughter and a proponent of equal rights
for women, assessing and esteeming the value of your
being. More than once during my childhood, I felt that I
had been bitterly cheated because all my friends had
grandmothers and you had died before I was born. I still
regret, perhaps even more than I did as a young child,
that I didn't get to know you.
I feel so close to you though, as I look at the only
snapshot I have of you, standing in the garden in your
black cotton dress covered almost completely by a white
apron. Just yesterday, when I went out to pick a tender
young green onion for our salad, I wondered if you had
picked the leeks for your leek soup out of the very same
bed. Had those leeks been nourished by the same sod? I
can only imagine Grandfather stooping low to tie them
back so they could bleach white in the summer sun. I can
also easily know how delicious that soup must have been
because your youngest child, my mother Leah, taught me to
make Leek Soup from your recipe so that she could have
some during her last illness. It was one of the few
things she could eat by then.
I especially wish you could share with me your
secret for raising children. What caused your sons and
daughters to give so selflessly and generously? What gave
them all such a fun-loving nature? Made them love to
dance and laugh? Caused them all to have an attitude of
gratitude about everything that happened in their lives?
Gave them the will to always help their neighbors?
As I walk through this house which my mother
inherited from you and she bequeathed to me, I wonder
what your footstep was like? Was it light and delicate?
Sure and determined? Swift and eager? What did your voice
sound like? French is such a lyric language, conversation
in your home must have been like a musical dialogue
interspersed with melodious laughter.
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The HeartThread Journal Page 10
From Uncle Danton, I have learned that neither you
nor my grandfather could speak one word of English when
you came to America. That your only means of
communication was a slip of paper on which was written:
"I am Julien Firman Caussin. I want to go to Pittsburgh,
Pennsylvania. I have a job waiting there for me as a
glass gatherer."
You must have been about twenty-two years old then
and had two young children, my Uncle Julius and Aunt
Clarice. It was only later that you moved to Clarksburg
to start a cooperative glass plant. As a matter of fact,
it was when my mother was six weeks old that you carried
her into the home I know now as my own -- the year was
1899.
Sometimes, I am almost overcome with a sense of
gratitude to you and my grandfather. Not only for passing
on to me through your daughter, a home which I enjoy
immensely, but also for the beautiful qualities with
which you imbued all of your children. Uncle Danton is
ninety-five years old and we still sit together on the
back porch and reminisce. The old green lattice succumbed
to dry rot and the porch has since been screened all
around. When the porch was rebuilt, the contractor wanted
to replace the walkway, but I knew you would not want the
names of your first three grandchildren to be erased. I
understand Grandfather wrote them in the wet cement when
he put in the sidewalk, so I insisted that the namestone
remain. Although the writing is now badly worn and
somewhat less legible and all of those grandchildren have
since joined the ranks of the saints triumphant like
yourself, rest assured that the walkway is intact and
almost as you left it.
As we sit talking and enjoying the delights of the
back porch (the honeysuckle on the bank smells marvelous
after a rain) Uncle Danton's lilting laugh rings out
above everyone else's. He still plays bridge three
afternoons a week at the Senior Citizens Center and
visits the sick at the VA Hospital every Thursday
afternoon. He is the only veteran left in town from World
War I. My own three sons love to hear him tell about you
and Grandfather coming to this country to start a glass
plant.
The story we enjoy most is the one about Grandfather
and his old cronies, Mr. Malfregeot and Mr. Rolland,
making wine out of two tons of grapes in 1914. To think
that that happened in the very basement that my son Mark
and I scrubbed and washed clothes in yesterday. (We even
looked in the old cistern hoping there might be a least
one bottle left -- but no such luck.) Uncle Danton tells
that the wholesale dealer knew of these three Frenchmen
in North View who made their own table wine. (They had
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The HeartThread Journal Page 11
brought their own wine press from France.) So when the
wholesaler found that he had two tons of grapes that were
getting beyond ripe, he propositioned Grandfather with
the offer to sell them all for $30.00. Being the shrewd
businessman that he undoubtedly was, Grandfather waited
twenty-four hours and then offered the dealer $25.00, if
he would deliver the grapes to his door. Grandfather
stood firm on his offer and the Glen Elk dealer relented.
I can envision the rickety horse-drawn cart pulling up in
the alley behind the house, laden with succulent,
super-ripe grapes. I can imagine the sweet, acidic aroma
which must have permeated the neighborhood. I can almost
hear the sounds of laughter as the three astute gentlemen
contemplated their artful business acumen while pressing
grapes in the basement. Later, perhaps, the sampling of
their product added to their delight in having
accomplished such a coup.
I do so hope there is an afterlife so that I can
meet and get to know you. Because, you see, even though I
never got to know you, I love you dearly. Although I know
only brief bits and pieces of your life story, it has
been enough for me to realize why I feel about you as I
do. It is that my love and appreciation of you come not
only from who you were but especially from what you were.
.........................................
Olga S. Hardman is a writer and a retired
music supervisor for the West Virginia school system
* * * * * * * *
Recreating Ourselves as Parents
- Our Hope for the Future -
.................................
by Edy Iversen
As a parent, have you ever wondered why we struggle
so desperately to love our children? Even when we are
trying hard to be kind, patient and loving, why do we
fail so many times?
How many times have you pledged to yourself, "I will
never treat my children the way I was treated," yet find
yourself repeating the same actions your parents did?
Actions such as being intolerant, hitting your kids, or
yelling and screaming? Everyone wants to love their
children unconditionally, yet so many times we get stuck
and find it utterly impossible to do just that.
Recently, when dealing impatiently with my eight
year old son, I had a deep realization about the source
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The HeartThread Journal Page 12
of my anger that stopped me right in my tracks. I
realized that "something actually comes over me" that
causes me to continue to do the same things that I hated
as a child.
I thought perhaps that "that something" might come
from my "lineage" or past. It occurred to me that I was
the culmination of my ancestors who probably acted in a
similar way to the way I now find myself acting. They too
might have been unable to control themselves. When I
reflected about that idea, I made a determination right
then and there that I was going to change myself so that
such behavior would no longer continue in my family.
At that very moment I asked God to help me to
overcome my anger and frustration. I repented to my son
in tears for my lack of love and patience, and I asked
for his forgiveness. I also repented for my ancestors and
their inability to love. I prayed that I could overcome
this problem in my lifetime.
I later got a book from my son's school called,
"Understanding Your Eight Year Old". I also tried to find
in my community a model of successful parents who could
help me to deal with my son in a more productive way, and
give me some good advice.
I began to feel that if I had grown up with a mother
and a father who had Christ's or Ghandi's quality of
love, then it would be easier for me to exemplify
parental love. Unfortunately, I didn't, and as a matter
of fact, nobody did. I realized that I needed to seek out
models of love that I could learn from and imitate. After
all, I want to be the best parent I can possibly be, not
a clone of the bad aspects of my own parents.
In this age of terrible child abuse, it would be so
powerful if we parents could spend time in
self-reflection. By noticing damaging patterns that we
might be repeating, we might be able to save our children
from some of the pain that we experienced as children. It
takes real humility to see things in ourselves that need
changing, but our children can only benefit by such
effort.
It goes without saying that the world will be a
better place if the individuals living in it improve
themselves. Creating a loving and nurturing atmosphere in
our home will affect our children in a way that can
create a better society. My goal now is to make my home a
place based on heart and love, rather than frustration
and anger.
...........................................
Edy Iversen is a mother, writer, and social
volunteer living in Palm Coast, Florida
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The Movie Mom's Guide to Movies and Videos for Families
.........................................................
Just selected as one of the
*** Top 500 Film and Video Sites on the Web! ***
Visit The Movie Mom's Guide on the
World Wide Web at: (new URL)
http://pages.prodigy.com/moviemom/moviemom.html
by Nell Minow
Reviews for parents of the best of current films and
old movies available on video and cable, by Nell Minow,
author, film critic, and mother. Reviews will be updated
each week with recommendations and replies to questions
about movies on special topics, suitability of particular
movies for children, and movie trivia -- try to stump me!
I'd also love your suggestions for a new book on movies
for families. The best kids' comments I receive will be
published.
RECOMMENDED
***********
Muppet Treasure Island
----------------------
The Robert Louis Stevenson classic of pirate
treasure is presented with the Muppets' special blend of
irreverent wit and impeccable production values. Human
and Muppet actors blend as seamlessly as the combination
of adventure and humor. Younger children may find it a
bit hard to follow, because of the accents and the
anachronistic asides thrown in to keep the grown-ups
amused. There are some sword fights that will thrill some
kids, but make others hide their eyes. Parents of younger
kids should tell children something about the story
before they see it. Parents of older kids may want to
talk about some of the issues it raises. Why did Jim
decide not to tell the others when Long John Silver stole
the treasure? Who did the treasure really belong to?
NOT BAD FOR THE YOUNGER SET:
****************************
"Homeward Bound II" - Disney's sequel to the 1993
remake of "The Incredible Journey," with two dogs and a
cat trying to find their way home from San Francisco.
NOT RECOMMENDED
***************
"Ed" - You may be tempted to see this because the
promos on television have your child begging that Matt
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 14
LeBlanc from "Friends" is so cute. Resist. Even if you
could stand the stupidity, the inanity, and the
scatological humor, you could never respect yourself for
allowing the people behind this movie to think they can
make money producing stuff like this.
The same goes for "Down Periscope," with Kelsey
Grammar -- flatulence humor and jokes about tattooed
[private parts].
NEW ON VIDEO
************
"The Babysitter's Club" - Based on the best-selling
series, this is a well-produced story of friendship,
responsibility, and growing up. As the babysitters decide
to run a summer camp, they each face challenges,
including the reappearance of a long-absent father, and a
crush on an older boy. Schyler Fisk (daughter of Sissy
Spacek) is outstanding in a lead role.
"The Swan Princess" - This animated fairy tale never
got the audience it deserved, possibly because the title
led some kids to think it was just for girls. But it is
an exciting story, based on the classic ballet, with a
heroine braver than "Pocahontas," more imaginative
artwork, funnier animal sidekicks, better music, and lots
more fun.
"The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" - The Milne
classic (and its illustrations by Shepard) are lovingly
brought to life by Disney. Pooh, Piglet, Tigger, Owl,
Kanga, Roo, and Christopher Robin have many adventures
indeed, including Pooh's impersonation of a little black
raincloud.
"Grizzly Mountain" - Two children go back in time to
help mountain man Dan Haggerty and his Indian friends
save their mountain from unscrupulous developers. This
low-budget film doesn't have fancy special effects or
Oscar-caliber acting, but it has twice the heart and
three times the humor of the "Ace Ventura" rip-offs
currently in theaters. Kids get a big kick out of the
slapstick humor as the children use modern technology and
old-fashioned boobytraps to outsmart the bad guys, and
they will enjoy the gorgeous scenery and Haggerty's quiet
friendship with the animals on the mountain.
For my list of the best movies for families, see "A
Practical Guide to Practically Everything", published by
Random House.
...........................................
Nell Minow writes the Movie Mom's Guide,
on the World Wide Web at:
http://pages.prodigy.com/moviemom/moviemom.html
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 15
Mother Linda's Irresistible Fudge Brownies
............................................
by Linda Forristal
Reserve your daily fat intake for these tantalizing,
but quick-to-make brownies. They are so easy to make, I
sometimes make them in the morning before going to work.
I quickly mix them up on top of the stove, pop them in
the oven, and then take my shower.
1 cup butter
6 oz. unsweetened chocolate
2 cups Sucanat
1 tsp. vanilla
4 eggs, large or extra large
1 1/4 cups spelt or
1 cup unbromated white flour
1 cup chopped walnuts
Melt butter and chocolate in a heavy pan on low
heat, being careful not to burn. When the butter and
chocolate are melted, remove from the heat and add the
Sucanat and vanilla directly to the chocolate mixture in
the pan; stir well. Add the eggs and beat for about 30
seconds with an electric mixer. Stir in the spelt or
flour and walnuts; stir until the flour is completely
incorporated.
Pour the batter into a greased 9x13-inch baking dish
and bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes, or until the
brownies begin to pull away from the side of the pan.
Cool, cut, and serve.
.................................
Linda Forristal is the author of
"Ode to Sucanat: The First Sucanat Cookbook"
* * * * * * * *
- HeartQuestions -
Questions & Reflections about
Marriage, Parenting & Family Issues
-------------------------------------
(Note: This column has recently been expanded
to include commentary, as well as readers' Q&A.)
Maintaining an Atmosphere of Heart in Marriage
................................................
by Peter F. Brown
Atmosphere, of course, is what we all breathe on a
daily basis. When I moved to Los Angeles for a short
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 16
time, I experienced the uncomfortable results of
automotive pollution. The atmosphere was thick and
cloudy, and filled with questionable particles. As a
result, it was difficult to breathe.
I believe that there's an invisible atmosphere of
love, or heart, between husband and wife that is as
palpable as the physical atmosphere of oxygen. In an even
broader sense, aren't all human beings sensitive to some
degree to the emotional atmosphere that surrounds them?
In a beautiful spring garden, each flower emits a
pure stream of oxygen, replenishing the atmosphere of the
garden. When we walk in such a garden, we feel soothed,
and at peace. When a husband and wife love each other in
a completely harmonious way, and have no ill feelings
lurking in the corners, then at that moment, using the
above metaphor, they are emitting a pure stream of love
into the atmosphere of heart in their home, creating a
feeling of peace and calmness in their "heartistic
garden".
Unfortunately, our hearts are turbulent and tend to
waver in our ability to constantly create an atmosphere
of heart in our homes. Husbands and wives usually love
each other when they get married, but then, as the years
go by, the love between them often decreases or becomes
muddied by numerous wounds that they inflict on each
other. We then see newspaper accounts of famous people
divorcing each other after twenty, thirty or even fifty
years of marriage. What happened to the atmosphere of
heart between these couples?
Unlike flowers, which automatically clean the fouled
air from their gardens, we humans have to make a
conscious effort to clean and maintain a beautiful
atmosphere of heart and love. Regrettably, often not much
attention is paid to this process in the married lives of
couples.
Much like a car that spews out a cloud of dirty
exhaust, married couples may, at any time, act or speak
in a way that creates a "cloud" of anger, resentment or
hurt feelings. Often it's unintentional, for who begins
their day with the goal of hurting their spouse?
Nevertheless, clouds are created and the atmosphere of
heart becomes leaden and cold.
Starting from the beginning of a relationship, when
perhaps there are no clouds between the couple, and their
garden is pristine and sparkling, one can see that the
pollution of a marriage is a gradual affair, over a long
period of time. Cloud after cloud is created, but not
brushed away -- not eliminated through a self-cleansing
process.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 17
I deeply feel that husbands and wives need to
develop what I call "heartistic antennae", so that they
can each sense every quiver and blip in the atmosphere of
love between them. When the atmosphere becomes cold and
tense in the slightest degree, both partners should feel
that change of atmosphere and automatically go into
"cleaning overdrive".
How does one clean the atmosphere of heart in a
marriage? Each infraction needs to be individually dealt
with in order to completely remove the pain caused by
that misdemeanor. How many times have you watched a movie
where the couple gets in a fight, and then the man or
woman just walks away, without resolving anything? This
kind of behavior leads to the accumulation of baggage in
a marriage, of heartistic blocks that soil the atmosphere
between them. Often, baggage develops to such a degree
that it is virtually impossible to sort out. The garden
has become so overgrown that the couple just gives up.
A good gardener will mercilessly eliminate all the
weeds in the garden when they're still sprouts. Our
gardens of heart are the same. When something happens to
cause a misunderstanding or a fight, the couple should
communicate their feelings to each other until they
understand each other (no matter how many hours of
communication it takes.) Then, based on their new
understanding of each other's feelings, they each have
the responsibility to approach the other and apologize
with love and humility.
Communication and apology centered on love does
indeed work, but sometimes it takes a great deal of
effort to truly find out what's wrong between the husband
and wife. For the sake of the atmosphere of heart between
them, it makes sense for the couple to commit themselves
to resolve each problem immediately, before the day is
out, and before their garden becomes hopelessly
overwhelmed with brambles.
After the cloud of hurt and anger is gone, the
husband and wife have the ongoing task of consciously
creating and expanding their heartistic garden by
carefully caring for each other's hearts. At every
opportunity, on a daily basis, the husband and wife can
express love to each other in many different ways. Very
much like physical flowers that create a garden's
atmosphere by "breathing" oxygen, the husband and wife
should both determine to "breathe" the atmosphere of pure
love into their surroundings.
Sometimes it becomes clear to the husband or wife
that they don't really feel love for each other. Perhaps
one partner loves the other, but the spouse doesn't
respond very well. Although some couples have extreme
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 18
circumstances, such as physical abuse or infidelity, many
husbands and wives are simply heartistically separated.
What can a couple do to generate love between them when
it has ceased to exist -- or perhaps never existed at
all?
One of the most beautiful characteristics of true
unselfish love is that it is so life-giving to the person
who receives it. If one partner in the marriage
determines that he or she will endlessly give unselfish
love to the other, without any limitation, under normal
circumstances the spouse should eventually respond. It
may take a long time, which places a very great burden on
the partner that determines to initiate and create an
atmosphere of love. That sacrifice is lessened by the joy
that comes from loving others and the conviction that the
atmosphere of heart will indeed be created over time.
Creating the atmosphere of heart requires utter
sincerity between husband and wife. Many couples make a
habit of speaking to each other with sarcasm, or joke
about each other in a denigrating way. Real love and
heart can only flourish when a profound trust exists
between the couple, because the atmosphere of heart
requires that the hearts of both become, and remain,
completely open to each other. In the atmosphere of heart
between husband and wife there are no blocks, no baggage
and no secrets.
........................................................
Peter F. Brown is the author of the book,
"Striving for Parental Love" and lives in
Virginia Beach, VA with his wife Kim and their
four children, Tymon, Thea Grace, Ranin and Tadin
HeartQuestions is published as a weekly column on
The HeartThread Resource Page at:
"http://futurerealm.com"
Send your questions by email to:
"peterbrown@futurerealm.com"
or by regular mail to:
HeartQuestions
P.O. Box 4131, Virginia Beach, VA 23454 / USA
* * * * * * * *
Overheard
...........
by Kim Korman Brown
I was in my bedroom folding laundry when I overheard
this conversation between my daughter Gracie, 6, and my
three sons, Tymon, 8, Ranin, 4, and Tadin, 2.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 19
Ranin: "When I grow up I want to marry you."
Gracie: "You can't marry me, boys don't marry their
sisters."
Ranin: "But I want to marry you."
Gracie: "No, if you marry your sister then your kids
become weird."
Ranin: "No they don't."
Tymon: "Yes they do. Both their eyes will be on the
same side."
Ranin: "No they won't."
Tymon: "Yes they will. Their mouth too. Everything
will be on one side. Like Charlotte Pickles.
Daddy said."
(Lion King Music playing in background.)
Ranin: "Oh I love the way that boy sings."
Tadin: "Heh eh dee wah! Heh eh weo!"
Tymon: "That's not a boy, it's Elton John."
Ranin: "Yes it is too a boy."
Tymon: "No, he's not a boy he's an old man."
Ranin: "He's a boy."
Tymon: "He is not, he's an old man, I saw his
picture."
Gracie: "He is not an old man, he's just a man."
Tymon: "Dad's a man. An old man says, how you doin'
sonny?"
Ranin: "Yeah, Dad's a man. And I'm a boy and you're
a boy and he's a boy and she's a girl."
Gracie: "Yeah."
Tymon: "Us boys are male and you're a female."
Gracie: "We are not. Animals are male and female."
Tymon: "People are animals too.People are male and
female. Dad's a male and he's a male and he's a
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 20
male and I'm a male and you're a female. And
mom's a female."
Gracie: "I'm a girl and Mom's a lady and Dad's a man
and you are boys."
Tymon: "We're also male and female."
Gracie: "Why do we say male and female?"
Tymon: "I don't know."
Ranin: "Is George Washington alive?"
Tadin: "Dee WAH!"
Tymon: "No."
Ranin: "Is Abraham Lincoln alive?"
Tymon: "No."
Ranin: "Is George Bush alive?"
Tymon: "Yes."
Ranin: "Is he president?"
Tymon: "No, Bill Clinton is President."
Ranin: "Bill? Bill Spell?" (our landlord)
Tymon: "No, Bill Clinton. Mom, why did Bill
Watterson stop making Calvin and Hobbes?"
Mom: (from the next room): "I guess he didn't want
it to become boring."
Tadin: "Hey Mama."
Mom: "Hey Tay Tay."
Tadin: "Hey Mama."
Mom: "Hey Tay Tay."
Tadin: "Hey Mama."
Mom: "Hey Tay Tay."
Tymon: "I wish he didn't stop making it. I miss it.
Do you think he would let me start drawing it?"
Mom: (from the next room): "I don't think so."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 21
Ranin: "Come on Gracie, let's play. You be Nala and
I'll be Simba. I want to sing the Simba song."
Gracie: "Oh I just can't wait to be king!"
Ranin: "Not that one, my Simba song. It goes Simba
Simba Simba Simba. Simba Simba Simba Simba." (To
the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.)
Tymon: "Let's watch Jungle Book."
Ranin: "Was Mowgli a teenager?"
Tymon: "No he was a kid."
Ranin: "But was he a teenager?"
Tymon: "Some of the time."
Ranin: "Is Robin a teenager?"
Tymon: "I think so."
Ranin: "Are the Power Rangers teenagers?"
Tymon: "Yes."
Gracie: "In the "Polar Bear King" were the princesses
teenagers?"
Tymon: "Yes."
Ranin: "The princesses' dad was a King. But the
polar bear guy was a prince."
Tymon: "No, the dad was the king of the north and
the polar bear guy was the king of the south."
Ranin: "No he was a teenager, he was a prince."
Tymon: "No he wasn't, he was a teenager king."
Ranin: "Teenagers aren't kings, they're princes."
Tymon: "He was a king."
Ranin: "He was a prince."
Tymon: "He was a king."
Ranin: "He was a prince."
Tymon: "He was a king."
Ranin: "He was a prince."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 22
Tymon: Pow. "Aaahhhhh, Ranin punched me."
Ranin: Pow. "Aaahhhhh, Tymon punched me."
Mom: "Hey you guys, say sorry to each other. No
fighting!"
Tymon: "Sorry."
Ranin: "Sorry."
Tymon: "King."
Ranin: "Prince."
Tymon: "King."
Ranin: "Prince."
Tymon: "Mom!"
Tadin: "HEY MAMA!"
........................................
Kim Korman Brown is a writer and a Mom,
living in Virginia Beach, Virginia
* * * * * * * *
The HeartThread Resource Guide
- Resources for Couples, Parents & Families -
...............................................
If you have any books, products, services, seminars,
or other helpful items that you would like us
to mention in this space, please email us at
"peterbrown@futurerealm.com".
This advertising space is FREE for a limited time.
*****************************************************************
Mother Linda's
"Ode to Sucanat: The First Sucanat Cookbook"
by Linda Forristal
............................................
Order your copy today by sending a check or money
order for $6.50 to:
Mother Linda's
P.O. Box 7
Bladensburg, MD 20710
Please write "HeartThread" on the memo line.
*****************************************************************
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 23
WeeBodies
.........
Weebodies has fun, quality play clothes for boys and
girls. Sizes from infant to age 12. For a free brochure,
send your mailing address to tgs@netshop.net
or mail to:
WeeBodies
RR#1, Site 19, Comp. 70
Sorrento, B.C., Canada VOE 2WO
*****************************************************************
Custom Birth Announcements,
Christening and Dedication Invitations
......................................
These elegant cards feature a black and white
reproduction of your new baby's photo, elegantly
displayed with your choice of wording on heavy
translucent paper, overlaying pink or blue parchment, and
tied with a matching ribbon.
E-mail: NaptimeTwo@aol.com
or mail to:
Naptime Productions
1295 Wildwood Road
Toledo, OH 43614
with your home mailing address for a sample and an
order form.
*****************************************************************
"Over The Shoulder Baby Holder"
...............................
"Over The Shoulder Baby Holders" are versatile,
fully adjustable, padded baby slings that can be used for
babies from birth to 3 years old. There is a wide variety
of natural carrying positions that allow you to wear your
baby comfortably, with no restrictive arm or leg
openings. Excellent for nursing.
For more information, or a full color brochure,
Email: Cwbc1@aol.com
*****************************************************************
Parent's Pal Products
.....................
Parent's Pal offers high quality products to
families at affordable prices. (see next page)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 24
Parent's Pal
Over the Shoulder Baby Holder (OSBH)
....................................
We are an excellent source for the Over the Shoulder
Baby Holder (OSBH) and Kidslings. The OSBH is a sling
style carrier, widely recognized as the best available.
It works for newborns to children 35 pounds. You can
carry the child in many positions. Excellent for nursing
discretely. It comes in 3 sizes to fit most parents and
caregivers. I offer it at a low price with quick delivery
and personal service.
The Kidsling
............
The Kidsling is a version of the sling for 1 1/2 - 6
year olds to use to carry their dolls and bears...just
like Mom and Dad do! It makes a wonderful big
sister/brother or birthday gift.
Gift certificates are available.
Parent's Pal
Email: parentspal@aol.com
Phone: (770) 396-4747
http://www.nav/com/mainstreet/pplace/pplace.htm
*****************************************************************
Fit For 2 Step Aerobic Workout For Pregnancy Video
..................................................
The video is a variable-intensity, high-energy
60-minute program led by ACE-certified pre- & post-natal
exercise specialist Lisa Stone, that includes a
discussion of the latest (1994) ACOG guidelines for
exercise during pregnancy, a 22-minute cardio workout
that can be done with or without a step, strength
training for the upper & lower body, an abdominal/pelvic
floor workout, a total-body stretch & relaxation segment,
and a Q&A session with ob/gyn Dr. Jeffrey Marcus.
The cost of the video is $19.95 + $3.00 shipping.
Order by sending a check to:
Fit For 2, P.O. Box 70062, Marietta, GA 30007-0062
or by calling The Step Company at 1-800-729-7837 and
using your credit card.
- ACE-certified pre- & post-natal fitness specialist
- Founder, Fit For 2 Pre- & Post-Natal Fitness (Atlanta,
GA / USA) - Producer, Fit For 2 Step Aerobic Workout For
Pregnancy video (http://www.nav.com/mainstreet/fitfor2.htm)
*****************************************************************
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 25
"Sex and Love:
Teaching Our Children in the Age of AIDS"
by Richard Panzer
.........................................
A 60 page booklet which discusses different
approaches to AIDS and sex education in the U.S., their
underlying assumptions and track records. Essential
information for parents and teachers!
$6.95 plus $2 shipping and handling
$19.95 for the Video version of the booklet
To order: Call 1-800-221-6116
(credit cards accepted)
Or send check or money order to:
Center for Educational Media
P.O. Box 97, Westwood, NJ 07675 / USA
Also Available:
"Angels Bar & Grill"
....................
A new comic book. Two college students, Bill and
Sandy, returning from Woodstock II, encounter Malcolm X,
Marilyn Monroe, Sigmund Freud, and Jack Kerouac, the 50's
"beat" writer, at a mysterious diner and discuss the
roots of the Sexual Revolution and the results 30 years
later. Their personal stories interact with contemporary
history and conclude in an important change in their
relationship!
$2.95 plus $2 shipping and handling
5 copies or more for $2.50 each plus
$4 shipping and handling
($10 min. order for credit card)
*****************************************************************
"Striving for Parental Love -
A Practical Guide on Giving Parental Love to Children"
by Peter F. Brown
.................
Now Available! The newly printed Third Edition of
this easy to read book highlights the "heart" of
parenting, with ground-breaking methods to build a family
of true love.
$10.95 plus $3.00 shipping and handling
(VA residents add .045 % sales tax.)
Send US Bank Check or Money Order to:
FutureRealm Productions
P.O. Box 4131, Virginia Beach, VA 23454 / USA
*****************************************************************
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 26
"Striving for Parental Love Seminars"
.....................................
Three hour seminars based upon the book of the same
name. Seminars can be held anywhere in the world, (if a
good local translator is available for non-English
speaking countries.)
Seminars are given by Peter F. Brown, the author of
the book. Fees can be structured to raise money for your
local organization, or sponsor. A percentage of each
attendee's fee goes to FutureRealm Productions.
For more information, call FutureRealm Productions
at: (804) 468-6848, or visit our web site at:
"http://futurerealm.com" or send us email at:
"peterbrown@futurerealm.com".
*****************************************************************
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The HeartThread Journal Page 27
(end of document)